1 00:00:40,999 --> 00:00:43,999 [instrumental music] 2 00:00:45,963 --> 00:00:46,963 [phone hangs up] 3 00:00:47,297 --> 00:00:48,297 [man1] No answer. 4 00:00:48,716 --> 00:00:50,876 - [man 2] Must be out shopping. - [man 1] God forbid. 5 00:00:51,301 --> 00:00:52,431 [man 2] why do you say that? 6 00:00:52,511 --> 00:00:56,351 [man 1] No reason. It's just something men say when they talk about their wives. 7 00:00:56,432 --> 00:00:58,732 One guy says, "She must be out shopping." 8 00:00:59,268 --> 00:01:00,938 The other guys says, "God forbid." 9 00:01:02,938 --> 00:01:05,308 - [man 1] It's a joke. - [man 2] Oh. [Chuckles nervously] 10 00:01:08,444 --> 00:01:12,454 [instrumental music] 11 00:01:27,796 --> 00:01:29,956 So what do you make of all this, Bob? 12 00:01:30,549 --> 00:01:33,929 - What do you mean? - How's it feel to be out on the road? 13 00:01:34,762 --> 00:01:37,972 [sighs] I can see where it could be tiring. 14 00:01:38,515 --> 00:01:40,175 Yeah, there's a lot to this job. 15 00:01:40,851 --> 00:01:43,641 You'd never know it, but there's a lot to it. 16 00:01:43,729 --> 00:01:46,519 [train whistle blows] 17 00:01:48,442 --> 00:01:50,322 [bicycle bell dings] 18 00:01:53,864 --> 00:01:55,994 You seem to have been at this a long time. 19 00:01:57,242 --> 00:01:58,662 Tell you the truth, Bob, 20 00:01:59,453 --> 00:02:03,503 I feel like I've been shaking somebody's hand one way or another my entire life. 21 00:02:04,249 --> 00:02:06,919 - You're very good at it. - Well, thank you, Bob. 22 00:02:07,002 --> 00:02:08,672 I mean, judging from what I hear. 23 00:02:09,797 --> 00:02:11,167 Don't qualify it, Bob. 24 00:02:22,684 --> 00:02:24,854 - [man] what time you got? - [Bob] Quarter to 5. 25 00:02:24,937 --> 00:02:26,647 [man] Hmm. Wonder if Larry got in? 26 00:02:26,730 --> 00:02:30,730 - [Bob] Don't you carry a watch? - [man] The world is full of clocks, Bob. 27 00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:35,032 Clocks and mirrors. It's a damn conspiracy. 28 00:02:36,323 --> 00:02:37,993 Not that it matters to me anymore. 29 00:02:38,075 --> 00:02:40,575 All my chances have come and gone a long time ago. 30 00:02:41,995 --> 00:02:43,115 Why do you say that? 31 00:02:43,580 --> 00:02:44,620 Oh, I'm not complainin'. 32 00:02:46,291 --> 00:02:48,751 Everybody peaks somewhere. People find their niche. 33 00:02:49,753 --> 00:02:51,053 It's nothing to be ashamed of. 34 00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:54,130 [Bob] Uh, how old are you? 35 00:02:55,050 --> 00:02:56,470 If you don't mind me asking. 36 00:02:56,552 --> 00:02:57,642 [man] I'm 52. 37 00:03:02,057 --> 00:03:04,347 [Bob] Your secretary said you looked distinguished. 38 00:03:04,768 --> 00:03:05,768 [man] She did? 39 00:03:06,103 --> 00:03:07,693 She said your face had character. 40 00:03:08,188 --> 00:03:10,358 I will give her the benefit of the doubt 41 00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:13,480 and assume that she meant that in a favorable vein. 42 00:03:18,073 --> 00:03:21,283 [Bob] Sometimes I wonder what I'll look like when I get to be your age. 43 00:03:22,369 --> 00:03:24,449 [exhales] Tear my heart out, Bob. 44 00:03:24,538 --> 00:03:27,918 - Oh, no. That's not what I meant. - That's okay. 45 00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:30,590 I've heard tell of people living well into their 60s. 46 00:03:31,003 --> 00:03:32,303 I only hope it's true. 47 00:03:32,838 --> 00:03:36,668 [Bob] A-All I mean is, I wonder how a person attains character. 48 00:03:37,593 --> 00:03:39,343 Whether it's something that you're born with 49 00:03:40,012 --> 00:03:41,932 that kind of reveals itself over time, or... 50 00:03:43,181 --> 00:03:44,981 whether you have to go through certain things. 51 00:03:46,476 --> 00:03:47,726 I never think about it. 52 00:03:48,604 --> 00:03:51,234 For all I know, I could have a face full of character 53 00:03:51,315 --> 00:03:52,395 and not even know it. 54 00:03:53,859 --> 00:03:55,359 - You think? - [exhales] 55 00:03:56,153 --> 00:03:57,863 It's a two-edged sword, Bob. 56 00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:01,159 [man] So how long you been with the company? 57 00:04:01,867 --> 00:04:02,867 [Bob] Six months. 58 00:04:03,368 --> 00:04:05,448 - Straight out of school? - Yeah. 59 00:04:06,371 --> 00:04:07,791 [man] well, a word of advice: 60 00:04:08,457 --> 00:04:11,537 It's never too early to start thinking about where you want to end up. 61 00:04:11,919 --> 00:04:14,249 - [Bob] It's a lot to think about. - [man] Yes, it is. 62 00:04:15,297 --> 00:04:18,507 Pretty soon somebody's gonna be handing you a cake with 40 candles on it. 63 00:04:19,259 --> 00:04:20,259 Maybe 50. 64 00:04:21,178 --> 00:04:24,308 Bunch of people are gonna jump out of a closet and yell, "Surprise!" 65 00:04:24,890 --> 00:04:28,060 Like it's something you haven't been thinking about every waking moment. 66 00:04:38,403 --> 00:04:40,613 - What's that you're reading? - Penthouse. 67 00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:43,282 Oh. 68 00:04:43,575 --> 00:04:45,865 - Wanna borrow it when I'm done? - No, thanks. 69 00:04:46,662 --> 00:04:49,372 - You don't want it? - No, I don't read magazines like that. 70 00:04:49,456 --> 00:04:50,456 Oh. [Chuckles] 71 00:04:51,333 --> 00:04:53,383 Are you one of those that believe that magazines 72 00:04:53,460 --> 00:04:54,780 like this shouldn't be published? 73 00:04:55,045 --> 00:04:57,375 I'm one of those who believe they shouldn't be purchased. 74 00:04:58,966 --> 00:05:00,716 [man] That was a very clever answer, Bob. 75 00:05:01,677 --> 00:05:03,337 [Bob] I just said what I thought. 76 00:05:03,428 --> 00:05:06,218 [man] That's what I mean. you did it without thinking. 77 00:05:06,723 --> 00:05:09,603 Which leads me to believe you could have a career in marketing. 78 00:05:12,604 --> 00:05:15,614 [inaudible] 79 00:05:19,945 --> 00:05:22,735 [Bob] what's your wife say about you reading magazines like that? 80 00:05:27,035 --> 00:05:28,785 It's not my wife's concern. 81 00:05:30,414 --> 00:05:31,414 It's not? 82 00:05:32,290 --> 00:05:33,290 No. 83 00:05:34,710 --> 00:05:35,960 We're divorced. 84 00:05:37,629 --> 00:05:39,799 Mind if I ask you what the problem was? 85 00:05:41,883 --> 00:05:44,343 [grunts] Maybe you better try your wife again, Bob. 86 00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:46,345 Sure. 87 00:05:47,264 --> 00:05:50,894 I just have a real hard time imagining what it must be like to get a divorce. 88 00:05:51,518 --> 00:05:53,598 The picture becomes perfectly clear... 89 00:05:53,979 --> 00:05:55,859 after a very short period of time. 90 00:05:58,608 --> 00:05:59,898 Believe me, Bob. 91 00:06:02,070 --> 00:06:03,070 [elevator dings] 92 00:06:04,740 --> 00:06:07,120 Oh, excuse me. 93 00:06:08,952 --> 00:06:11,055 - [bellhop] How're you doin'? - Pretty good. How 'bout yourself? 94 00:06:11,079 --> 00:06:12,829 Can't complain. What floor? 95 00:06:12,914 --> 00:06:15,214 That depends on where you're headed with all this food. 96 00:06:15,292 --> 00:06:16,292 Fifteen. 97 00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:18,130 - Hospitality suite. - Yeah. 98 00:06:18,712 --> 00:06:20,302 Hmm, me too. On 16. 99 00:06:21,757 --> 00:06:23,127 Oh, yeah. 100 00:06:25,927 --> 00:06:26,927 [elevator dings] 101 00:06:41,777 --> 00:06:42,777 This is it? 102 00:06:42,861 --> 00:06:43,861 Hi, Larry. 103 00:06:44,362 --> 00:06:46,112 This is fucking it? 104 00:06:47,199 --> 00:06:49,739 What do you mean, "This is fucking it"? Of course it's it. 105 00:06:49,826 --> 00:06:50,656 What'd you expect? 106 00:06:50,744 --> 00:06:53,084 Phil, buddy, the operative word was "suite." 107 00:06:53,163 --> 00:06:56,423 Hospitality suite, not Hospitality closet. 108 00:06:56,500 --> 00:06:58,000 There's no room in here. 109 00:06:58,085 --> 00:06:59,995 I did... It's the best I could do. 110 00:07:00,087 --> 00:07:02,667 Where do you expect people to stand, out in the hall? 111 00:07:02,756 --> 00:07:05,626 What are you bitching about? It's on the 16th floor. 112 00:07:05,717 --> 00:07:06,717 Look at the view. 113 00:07:07,552 --> 00:07:10,432 Phil, man, we're in Wichita, Kansas. 114 00:07:10,514 --> 00:07:13,724 What does it matter whether we're on the first floor or the 500th floor? 115 00:07:13,809 --> 00:07:15,019 It all looks the same. 116 00:07:15,102 --> 00:07:17,022 Well, then next time you make the arrangements. 117 00:07:17,104 --> 00:07:19,154 Murdoch would have had a room four times this size. 118 00:07:19,231 --> 00:07:20,981 Oh, yeah? Well, Murdoch's not here, is he? 119 00:07:21,066 --> 00:07:22,316 You can say that again. 120 00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:26,453 At least we have something to jump off of when nobody shows. 121 00:07:26,530 --> 00:07:27,360 Fuck you, Larry. 122 00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:29,777 See? That's what I get for having aesthetic values. 123 00:07:29,866 --> 00:07:31,696 Foul language thrown in my face. 124 00:07:32,869 --> 00:07:34,289 [Phil] You know Bob from research? 125 00:07:34,371 --> 00:07:36,331 Sure, I know Bob. How you doing there, Bob? 126 00:07:36,414 --> 00:07:37,254 Hi. 127 00:07:37,332 --> 00:07:38,712 He's on the phone to his wife. 128 00:07:39,543 --> 00:07:41,673 I only hope his wife does most of the talking. 129 00:07:41,753 --> 00:07:43,883 We've got to conserve What little oxygen we have. 130 00:07:48,844 --> 00:07:49,844 What is this? 131 00:07:51,138 --> 00:07:52,348 What does it look like? 132 00:07:52,430 --> 00:07:54,470 - You tell me. - It's hors d'oeuvres. 133 00:07:55,100 --> 00:07:56,890 You call these hors d'oeuvres? 134 00:07:57,310 --> 00:07:59,060 Don't start with me, alright, Larry? 135 00:07:59,146 --> 00:08:01,396 Phil, buddy, these are not hors d'oeuvres. 136 00:08:02,232 --> 00:08:03,522 I don't know what that is. 137 00:08:03,608 --> 00:08:06,528 Carrot sticks, celery sticks, couple of ranch dressing 138 00:08:06,611 --> 00:08:08,201 and an overgrown cheese ball? 139 00:08:08,530 --> 00:08:11,240 This... This whole thing was spur-of-the-moment, you know it. 140 00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:13,344 Do you know what the tool and dye outfit is serving? 141 00:08:13,368 --> 00:08:15,198 I don't know and I don't wanna know. 142 00:08:15,287 --> 00:08:18,407 Shrimp, my friend. Jumbo shrimp on ice. 143 00:08:18,874 --> 00:08:22,044 Oysters on the half shell. All these weird kind of French cheeses. 144 00:08:22,127 --> 00:08:23,587 These little puff pastries. 145 00:08:23,670 --> 00:08:26,210 That's hors d'oeuvres, Phil, my friend of many years. 146 00:08:26,298 --> 00:08:28,776 Not this. Downstairs they wouldn't let a celery stick near the place. 147 00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:30,236 They'd make you check it at the door. 148 00:08:30,260 --> 00:08:33,510 - Well, then go eat downstairs tonight. - Well, I just might have to. 149 00:08:33,597 --> 00:08:35,967 Jesus Christ! Bob, can you believe this? 150 00:08:39,853 --> 00:08:40,853 Looks okay to me. 151 00:08:40,937 --> 00:08:43,687 Well, that's exactly my point. You don't know anything. 152 00:08:44,191 --> 00:08:46,731 No offense, but how many of these things have you been to? 153 00:08:46,818 --> 00:08:48,528 - Just one. - This one, right? 154 00:08:48,612 --> 00:08:51,032 - Yeah. - Yeah, that's what I thought. 155 00:08:51,114 --> 00:08:53,204 Who knows, Phil? Maybe we'll get lucky 156 00:08:53,283 --> 00:08:56,443 and everyone that walks through the door tonight will be a first-timer like Bob. 157 00:08:58,705 --> 00:08:59,745 Is there a problem? 158 00:09:00,790 --> 00:09:02,750 No. There's no problem. 159 00:09:05,879 --> 00:09:08,379 Oh, catching up on your technical reading there, Phil? 160 00:09:08,465 --> 00:09:09,875 Mind your own business, Larry. 161 00:09:09,966 --> 00:09:12,126 Yeah, I'm not condemning. I'm just saying I noticed. 162 00:09:12,219 --> 00:09:15,009 You should have seen the girl that sat next to me on the plane. 163 00:09:15,096 --> 00:09:17,426 - Pretty? - I should say so, and built, 164 00:09:17,515 --> 00:09:20,095 and... Wearing a business suit. 165 00:09:20,185 --> 00:09:23,685 [chuckles] That's right. You like 'em in business suits. 166 00:09:23,772 --> 00:09:26,982 There's something about a woman in a business suit that drives me wild. 167 00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:29,987 It's as if they're all tied up in this neat little package 168 00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:31,900 just waiting for someone to come along 169 00:09:31,988 --> 00:09:34,408 and pull the cord that sets everything free. 170 00:09:34,491 --> 00:09:36,701 A woman in a business suit is my idea of art. 171 00:09:37,535 --> 00:09:38,615 What about you, Bob? 172 00:09:38,703 --> 00:09:40,743 What kind of woman's attire gets your motor running? 173 00:09:42,540 --> 00:09:44,040 I'm sure I couldn't tell you. 174 00:09:44,125 --> 00:09:45,125 No favorites, huh? 175 00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:47,745 Uh, I try not to think about it. 176 00:09:50,799 --> 00:09:51,799 [Larry] You try not? 177 00:09:53,218 --> 00:09:54,258 [Bob] I'm married. 178 00:09:54,344 --> 00:09:56,064 Of course you're married. We're all married. 179 00:09:56,096 --> 00:09:57,596 Even Phil was married at one time. 180 00:09:57,681 --> 00:09:59,841 I'm just asking you in which direction your tastes run. 181 00:09:59,933 --> 00:10:01,603 I... [chuckling] I don't know. 182 00:10:03,103 --> 00:10:04,103 Oh. 183 00:10:05,397 --> 00:10:07,897 Let me, uh, ask you a question there, Bob, seriously. 184 00:10:07,983 --> 00:10:09,653 - What's that? - Are you gay? 185 00:10:10,235 --> 00:10:12,105 - Larry! - What? I'm just asking. 186 00:10:12,195 --> 00:10:14,465 He seems to be missing one of the fundamental characteristics 187 00:10:14,489 --> 00:10:15,489 of the American male, 188 00:10:15,532 --> 00:10:18,162 which I could understand if he were, you know, but you're not. 189 00:10:18,243 --> 00:10:19,553 I mean, at least you think you... 190 00:10:19,577 --> 00:10:20,577 Aren't you married? 191 00:10:21,830 --> 00:10:24,160 I just see no reason to let my eyes go wandering 192 00:10:24,249 --> 00:10:27,129 when God's given me a wonderful woman to be my wife. 193 00:10:28,086 --> 00:10:30,166 Oh, I see. You're a spiritual man, then. 194 00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:31,960 That's a part of it. 195 00:10:32,424 --> 00:10:34,344 So do they blind you when you get saved, do they? 196 00:10:35,343 --> 00:10:37,473 Jesus said if you look at a woman with lust, 197 00:10:37,554 --> 00:10:39,034 it's the same as committing adultery. 198 00:10:39,597 --> 00:10:40,597 He did? 199 00:10:41,349 --> 00:10:43,679 He must have never seen a woman in a business suit. 200 00:10:43,768 --> 00:10:44,848 If he had, who knows? 201 00:10:44,936 --> 00:10:46,497 We might have a different kind of religion, 202 00:10:46,521 --> 00:10:48,191 one where lusting is a sacrament. 203 00:10:52,444 --> 00:10:55,654 Hey! I thought you weren't interested in my hors d'oeuvres. 204 00:10:55,739 --> 00:10:58,699 I'm just tasting, Phil. I'm not actually partaking. 205 00:10:58,783 --> 00:11:00,783 I'm just gonna make sure that nobody's gonna gag. 206 00:11:01,578 --> 00:11:03,248 Well, don't eat the whole thing up. 207 00:11:04,372 --> 00:11:06,082 You know why you're here, don't you, Bob? 208 00:11:06,750 --> 00:11:08,750 No. Not exactly. 209 00:11:08,835 --> 00:11:12,295 Jesus Christ. No wonder this company is spiraling into the shit can. 210 00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:15,222 You're here for cosmetic purposes, Bob. 211 00:11:16,259 --> 00:11:17,259 What do you mean? 212 00:11:17,344 --> 00:11:19,264 You're here to represent research. 213 00:11:19,721 --> 00:11:23,181 Technical support. The brains of the company. 214 00:11:23,808 --> 00:11:25,388 - Me? - Absolutely. 215 00:11:25,935 --> 00:11:27,805 But I don't have that much experience. 216 00:11:27,896 --> 00:11:30,306 That doesn't matter. You, as a person, don't really matter. 217 00:11:30,398 --> 00:11:31,568 It's what you represent. 218 00:11:32,817 --> 00:11:34,317 Am I supposed to be doing anything? 219 00:11:34,402 --> 00:11:37,702 Nope. Just stand there and look wise, or sit. It's entirely up to you. 220 00:11:38,782 --> 00:11:40,072 You'll do fine, Bob. 221 00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:43,370 Jeez, I hope so. 222 00:11:44,162 --> 00:11:46,582 You know, when you think about it, to tell the truth, 223 00:11:47,665 --> 00:11:48,825 Nobody's really here. 224 00:11:48,917 --> 00:11:51,917 You think you see people walkin' around those hallways? You don't. 225 00:11:52,796 --> 00:11:54,046 What you see is functions. 226 00:11:54,839 --> 00:11:56,259 That's the nature of a convention. 227 00:11:59,010 --> 00:12:00,390 What Larry means is, 228 00:12:01,554 --> 00:12:04,604 if you look at it in the standpoint of why we're here, 229 00:12:05,308 --> 00:12:07,518 what we are is more important than who we are. 230 00:12:09,312 --> 00:12:10,942 Well, that seems kind of impersonal. 231 00:12:11,022 --> 00:12:12,652 Of course it's impersonal, Bob. 232 00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:15,152 Why do you think they hold conventions in places like this? 233 00:12:15,235 --> 00:12:18,815 Is there anything about this place that smacks of personality to you? 234 00:12:21,032 --> 00:12:22,372 Still, it seems a shame. 235 00:12:23,034 --> 00:12:24,284 It's not a shame, Bob. 236 00:12:31,126 --> 00:12:32,126 [sighs] 237 00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:40,928 So who do they have you working for these days? 238 00:12:41,010 --> 00:12:42,220 Uh, Professor Young. 239 00:12:42,804 --> 00:12:43,804 Jim Young? 240 00:12:44,222 --> 00:12:45,222 Yeah. You know him? 241 00:12:45,932 --> 00:12:46,932 We've met. 242 00:12:47,851 --> 00:12:49,771 - Tremendous guy. - Oh, really? 243 00:12:50,228 --> 00:12:51,228 [Larry] How so? 244 00:12:52,689 --> 00:12:55,439 He's got... what, 20, 30 patents? 245 00:12:56,192 --> 00:12:58,112 I think he's even a deacon in his church. 246 00:12:58,194 --> 00:13:00,114 And all that makes him tremendous? 247 00:13:00,405 --> 00:13:02,105 Well, the patents alone. 248 00:13:02,907 --> 00:13:05,987 Listen, Bob, no offense. I can see that you admire the man and all. 249 00:13:06,077 --> 00:13:09,037 But let me tell you a little something about Jim Young. 250 00:13:09,122 --> 00:13:10,212 [Bob] what's that? 251 00:13:10,748 --> 00:13:11,918 He's an idiot! 252 00:13:12,625 --> 00:13:14,535 - What? - He's a moron, Bob. 253 00:13:14,627 --> 00:13:16,337 I wouldn't trust the guy to wax my car. 254 00:13:16,421 --> 00:13:17,881 How can you say that? 255 00:13:17,964 --> 00:13:18,964 I've met him, remember? 256 00:13:19,048 --> 00:13:21,402 I've gotten an earful of Jim Young on more than one occasion. 257 00:13:21,426 --> 00:13:24,176 I can tell you for a fact the guy is full of shit. 258 00:13:24,262 --> 00:13:27,222 Well, I don't think so and I work with him every day. 259 00:13:27,307 --> 00:13:29,307 Well, maybe you just don't know what to look for. 260 00:13:29,392 --> 00:13:31,352 Maybe I just have different standards. 261 00:13:40,236 --> 00:13:42,566 Listen, Bob. You got a minute? I wanna tell you something. 262 00:13:43,531 --> 00:13:44,531 [sighs] Sure. 263 00:13:45,617 --> 00:13:47,367 There are people in this world, Bob, 264 00:13:47,952 --> 00:13:51,372 who look very official, while they're doing, what they're doing. 265 00:13:51,456 --> 00:13:52,536 And do you know why? 266 00:13:52,790 --> 00:13:53,670 Why? 267 00:13:53,750 --> 00:13:55,430 Because they don't know what they're doing. 268 00:13:55,460 --> 00:13:56,812 Because if you know what you're doing, 269 00:13:56,836 --> 00:13:58,898 you don't have to look like you know what you're doing. 270 00:13:58,922 --> 00:14:00,802 - It comes naturally. You follow me? - Sure. 271 00:14:02,091 --> 00:14:05,431 Okay, so now, do you know how you can tell the difference? 272 00:14:06,262 --> 00:14:07,102 No. 273 00:14:07,180 --> 00:14:08,850 All right, the way you tell is... 274 00:14:09,682 --> 00:14:12,522 A little voice pops up in the back of your mind 275 00:14:12,602 --> 00:14:16,192 to say that this guy who's sitting before me, or she, 276 00:14:16,272 --> 00:14:19,822 is lying through his teeth and telling me stories. 277 00:14:20,568 --> 00:14:22,648 Now, once you get that little piece of information, 278 00:14:23,655 --> 00:14:24,655 what do you do? 279 00:14:24,739 --> 00:14:26,989 Uh, I don't know. 280 00:14:27,325 --> 00:14:28,525 Here's what I would do. 281 00:14:29,619 --> 00:14:34,209 I would say, "Buddy, I've heard a lot of horseshit in my time", 282 00:14:34,290 --> 00:14:35,610 "'cause God knows I'm a salesman" 283 00:14:35,667 --> 00:14:39,037 "and we all have to wade through our share of the snow to get to the cabin," 284 00:14:39,128 --> 00:14:43,008 "but you... take the cake." 285 00:14:43,925 --> 00:14:47,085 "I don't believe you have the first idea what you're talking about." 286 00:14:47,178 --> 00:14:49,218 "Your children admire you, I'm sure," 287 00:14:49,305 --> 00:14:51,095 "as we all hope they do." 288 00:14:51,182 --> 00:14:53,022 "And maybe your wife doesn't know," 289 00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:54,560 "but I know." 290 00:14:55,436 --> 00:14:58,106 "And my knowledge forces me to call you on the fact" 291 00:14:58,189 --> 00:15:02,319 "that you are a goddamn cock-sucking liar from the word go!" 292 00:15:04,862 --> 00:15:06,992 And then I would sit down and finish my soup. 293 00:15:12,245 --> 00:15:13,245 [scoffs] 294 00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:15,080 You would not. 295 00:15:15,164 --> 00:15:17,464 Phil, have you or have you not ever heard 296 00:15:17,542 --> 00:15:19,712 or seen me doing what we were just talking about? 297 00:15:20,378 --> 00:15:21,378 Yes. 298 00:15:21,462 --> 00:15:22,712 There, you see? 299 00:15:22,797 --> 00:15:26,427 That's why there's hope, Bob, because there's people like me who listen. 300 00:15:27,218 --> 00:15:29,848 - When was this? - [Larry] what do you mean, "when"? 301 00:15:29,929 --> 00:15:33,179 Are you doubting a man that sits there reading Penthouse to expand his mind? 302 00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:34,636 Are you gonna question that? 303 00:15:36,269 --> 00:15:39,649 It was a couple years ago. We were having lunch with a purchasing agent. 304 00:15:40,815 --> 00:15:41,815 You see? 305 00:15:41,899 --> 00:15:44,609 - And you actually said that? - Word for word. 306 00:15:44,694 --> 00:15:46,324 It was not word for word. 307 00:15:48,197 --> 00:15:49,907 In principle, Phil. 308 00:15:49,991 --> 00:15:52,661 I'm speaking to the boy in principle because after all, 309 00:15:52,744 --> 00:15:55,954 he's a bright young man and he understands the meaning of a concept. 310 00:15:57,040 --> 00:15:58,040 So what happened? 311 00:15:59,334 --> 00:16:00,424 What do you think happened? 312 00:16:00,501 --> 00:16:02,381 What would you expect to have happen? 313 00:16:04,339 --> 00:16:07,299 - The guy got angry. - The guy got furious. 314 00:16:07,383 --> 00:16:11,513 He just sat there through the rest of the meal fuming, not saying a word. 315 00:16:11,596 --> 00:16:13,306 Did you lose the account? 316 00:16:15,183 --> 00:16:17,813 Of course we lost the account. 317 00:16:18,144 --> 00:16:21,364 Bob, you can't speak to a man like that and expect to keep the account. 318 00:16:21,439 --> 00:16:22,939 And if you do... 319 00:16:23,524 --> 00:16:27,324 If you say that to a man and he puts down his fork 320 00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:29,821 and he says, "Bob..." 321 00:16:31,783 --> 00:16:33,283 "you are absolutely right." 322 00:16:34,702 --> 00:16:38,712 "I have been faking like I know what I'm talking about from the moment I sat down," 323 00:16:38,790 --> 00:16:39,870 "and I'm sorry." 324 00:16:40,792 --> 00:16:43,712 "Not to you, because I don't owe you anything, but to myself." 325 00:16:44,420 --> 00:16:47,510 "Because I want to be the best human being I can possibly be," 326 00:16:48,466 --> 00:16:51,216 "and I want to be honest above all else." 327 00:16:52,679 --> 00:16:55,074 Well, then you forget about the account, you forget about everything. 328 00:16:55,098 --> 00:16:57,058 You shave your head, you put on a saffron robe, 329 00:16:57,141 --> 00:16:59,351 you sell pictures of this guy at the airport, 330 00:16:59,435 --> 00:17:02,845 because he has no fear and he's just proved it. 331 00:17:03,564 --> 00:17:05,364 He deserves to be worshipped. 332 00:17:12,949 --> 00:17:13,949 Wow. 333 00:17:15,201 --> 00:17:18,251 "Wow" is right, Bob. "wow" sums it up quite nicely. 334 00:17:19,372 --> 00:17:21,622 I mean, I can't believe you actually said that. 335 00:17:21,708 --> 00:17:24,078 - Do yourself a favor, Bob. - What's that? 336 00:17:24,168 --> 00:17:26,918 - Don't ever become one of those people. - No, I wouldn't. 337 00:17:27,004 --> 00:17:30,054 I don't want to have to confront you at lunch one day like that other guy, 338 00:17:30,133 --> 00:17:33,143 but I will, for your own good, because I like you. 339 00:17:34,804 --> 00:17:35,804 Sure. 340 00:17:40,768 --> 00:17:43,308 - You all right, Bob? - Yeah. I just need to use the restroom. 341 00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:45,249 Want me to fix you something while you're on the throne? 342 00:17:45,273 --> 00:17:46,773 No, thanks. I just need to go. 343 00:17:59,287 --> 00:18:02,207 - [Phil] who wound you up? - [Larry] Nobody wound me up. 344 00:18:02,290 --> 00:18:03,790 I'm just excited, that's all. 345 00:18:03,875 --> 00:18:06,245 We're gonna do some business tonight, Phil. 346 00:18:06,335 --> 00:18:10,455 There's business in the air. Do you smell it? 347 00:18:10,548 --> 00:18:12,758 It's the kind of air that makes account ledgers grow. 348 00:18:12,842 --> 00:18:15,932 There's only one account ledger that matters to us tonight. 349 00:18:16,012 --> 00:18:18,312 We're gonna get that one too. You watch. 350 00:18:18,973 --> 00:18:21,143 Fuller's gonna come walking through that door. 351 00:18:21,225 --> 00:18:23,095 He's gonna take one look around. 352 00:18:23,186 --> 00:18:25,936 He will be so overwhelmed 353 00:18:26,022 --> 00:18:29,862 with the fact that he's on the 16th floor overlooking 354 00:18:29,942 --> 00:18:34,282 all of Wichita, like some ancient king surveying his fiefdom. 355 00:18:34,405 --> 00:18:38,445 Larry predicts, that he will say, "You talk to me about moxie?" 356 00:18:38,534 --> 00:18:42,044 "Anybody with the aesthetic wherewithal" 357 00:18:42,121 --> 00:18:44,751 "to pick this, of all places, for a hospitality suite" 358 00:18:44,832 --> 00:18:47,582 "must certainly have the right line of industrial lubricants" 359 00:18:47,668 --> 00:18:48,998 "for my plant in Gary." 360 00:18:49,295 --> 00:18:53,665 "What would it take to get you guys to sell me everything you could make?" 361 00:18:53,758 --> 00:18:58,008 "How much can I pay you personally, as a bribe?" 362 00:19:00,097 --> 00:19:03,017 - He's gonna say all that, is he? - Word for word. 363 00:19:03,684 --> 00:19:06,904 You know what I'm gonna say to him? "Mr. Fuller, you are absolutely right. 364 00:19:06,979 --> 00:19:10,939 "We do have the right line of industrial lubricants for your application, 365 00:19:11,025 --> 00:19:14,315 "and I personally would be proud to handle the account myself. 366 00:19:14,403 --> 00:19:17,573 "But there is one thing I ask of you, as a favor, 367 00:19:18,074 --> 00:19:20,334 to help us get better acquainted." 368 00:19:20,409 --> 00:19:23,789 - What's that? - That you take me as your concubine. 369 00:19:23,871 --> 00:19:25,871 Or Phil, if you think he's better looking. 370 00:19:26,958 --> 00:19:28,668 You really think he's gonna go for us? 371 00:19:28,751 --> 00:19:30,671 - He has to, Phil. - What if he doesn't? 372 00:19:30,753 --> 00:19:32,383 - If he doesn't go for us? - Yeah. 373 00:19:32,463 --> 00:19:34,623 Then I think what we do is; We get up tomorrow morning, 374 00:19:34,674 --> 00:19:37,094 we pack our bags, we catch the breakfast flight home, 375 00:19:37,176 --> 00:19:39,886 we wander into the office around half past 2, 376 00:19:40,596 --> 00:19:42,926 and then we hang ourselves in the bathroom by our tie. 377 00:19:44,517 --> 00:19:46,057 Do you know what he looks like? 378 00:19:46,143 --> 00:19:48,143 - No. You? - I haven't the foggiest. 379 00:19:48,855 --> 00:19:49,855 What about Bob? 380 00:19:49,939 --> 00:19:52,519 Bob. How's Bob gonna know what he looks like? 381 00:19:52,608 --> 00:19:53,961 Oh, yeah. Well, it doesn't matter. 382 00:19:53,985 --> 00:19:55,905 That's one of the great things about conventions. 383 00:19:56,237 --> 00:19:58,677 All God's children wear name tags, especially a guy like this. 384 00:19:58,739 --> 00:20:00,489 He probably had one specially made in neon. 385 00:20:00,575 --> 00:20:03,025 "Dick Fuller". You know, "President." 386 00:20:03,119 --> 00:20:05,199 "Nickname: El Kahuna Grande." 387 00:20:05,830 --> 00:20:08,160 [Larry] I'm only hoping he's wearing a ring I can kiss. 388 00:20:12,295 --> 00:20:16,085 - Phil, what is that? - It's a coat rack. 389 00:20:16,173 --> 00:20:18,553 I know it's a coat rack. What's it doing in here? 390 00:20:18,634 --> 00:20:19,474 It's for coats. 391 00:20:19,552 --> 00:20:22,682 Who the hell's gonna bring a coat? We're all in the same damn hotel. 392 00:20:22,763 --> 00:20:25,075 Get it out of here. There's little enough room in here as it is. 393 00:20:25,099 --> 00:20:26,389 I wanted to be prepared. 394 00:20:27,018 --> 00:20:29,138 If I don't have a coat rack, you're gonna say, 395 00:20:29,228 --> 00:20:31,058 "Phil, where's the coat rack?" 396 00:20:31,856 --> 00:20:34,186 Now we know where it is. It's out in the hall. 397 00:20:37,862 --> 00:20:39,152 Is he all right in there? 398 00:20:39,572 --> 00:20:41,952 - I don't think he's feeling very well. - Really? How come? 399 00:20:43,993 --> 00:20:45,083 Maybe it's nerves. 400 00:20:46,579 --> 00:20:48,709 Or maybe he just couldn't take the likes of you. 401 00:20:48,789 --> 00:20:49,619 What? 402 00:20:49,707 --> 00:20:52,067 Especially when you come at him with both barrels like that. 403 00:20:53,127 --> 00:20:55,837 What, me? Nah, I was just talkin' to him. 404 00:20:55,922 --> 00:20:58,012 - He's a good kid. - 'Course he's a good kid. 405 00:20:58,090 --> 00:21:00,010 I wouldn't waste my time with him if he wasn't. 406 00:21:00,092 --> 00:21:01,802 That's the last thing I need to do 407 00:21:01,886 --> 00:21:04,386 is grease another asshole for the lubricant industry. 408 00:21:09,936 --> 00:21:12,596 Besides, he reminds me of you in a lot of ways. 409 00:21:12,688 --> 00:21:14,648 No, he doesn't. He reminds you of yourself. 410 00:21:14,732 --> 00:21:17,032 Yeah, but I take after you, so it all works out. 411 00:21:17,109 --> 00:21:20,109 I don't want any of these bozos making long-distance calls. 412 00:21:20,529 --> 00:21:22,029 Well, take it off the bill. 413 00:21:27,244 --> 00:21:30,004 Or who knows? Maybe he's just basking in the experience. 414 00:21:30,081 --> 00:21:33,081 - Going to the bathroom? - Yeah. Have you been in there yet? 415 00:21:33,167 --> 00:21:35,127 - No. Why? - It's terrific, man. 416 00:21:35,211 --> 00:21:37,131 It's the only thing I like about this place. 417 00:21:37,213 --> 00:21:39,303 They got a spotlight over the john. 418 00:21:39,382 --> 00:21:41,932 That and there's mirrors on three sides, 419 00:21:42,009 --> 00:21:44,969 so you can actually watch yourself wiping your own ass. 420 00:21:46,138 --> 00:21:47,638 Is that a major goal of yours? 421 00:21:47,723 --> 00:21:49,368 Well, I think it's something everybody should experience 422 00:21:49,392 --> 00:21:50,682 at least once in their lifetime. 423 00:21:50,768 --> 00:21:52,728 Do you realize what the ancient kings of Egypt 424 00:21:52,812 --> 00:21:55,362 would have given if they'd been able to watch themselves 425 00:21:55,439 --> 00:21:56,769 wiping their own asses? 426 00:21:56,857 --> 00:21:59,777 Plenty! But they couldn't because the technology was unavailable. 427 00:22:00,277 --> 00:22:02,987 - They had mirrors. - Oh, hand mirrors, Phil. 428 00:22:03,072 --> 00:22:04,532 Little bitty jobs. 429 00:22:04,615 --> 00:22:07,945 You try watching yourself wiping your own ass with a hand mirror. 430 00:22:08,035 --> 00:22:09,865 You might... You can't see anything. 431 00:22:09,954 --> 00:22:11,874 You might as well be watching somebody else. 432 00:22:11,956 --> 00:22:16,536 No, no, no. To do it right you need the full-fledged wall-to-Wall mirrors. 433 00:22:16,627 --> 00:22:18,627 Then you get the total picture. 434 00:22:19,005 --> 00:22:21,066 Reminds you you're not much different than anybody else 435 00:22:21,090 --> 00:22:23,680 when it comes down to it. Gives you a sense of humility. 436 00:22:23,759 --> 00:22:25,219 Whatever you say. 437 00:22:27,680 --> 00:22:29,930 Oh! The door is jammed. 438 00:22:30,016 --> 00:22:33,516 - I put a call in. - Oh, Christ. 439 00:22:35,646 --> 00:22:37,686 Hey, you feelin' any better, Bob? 440 00:22:44,613 --> 00:22:47,163 Yeah. Just, uh, just a little queasy is all. 441 00:22:47,450 --> 00:22:49,780 What? Did Phil have you working on the floor all day? 442 00:22:49,869 --> 00:22:51,119 Some of it. [Kicks table] 443 00:22:52,246 --> 00:22:55,076 - Workin' the booth? - Uh, yeah. 444 00:22:55,791 --> 00:22:57,921 No wonder. You should've told him to go fuck himself. 445 00:22:58,002 --> 00:22:59,212 I hate workin' the booth. 446 00:23:00,171 --> 00:23:02,851 - I thought it was kind of interesting. - There's no closet in here. 447 00:23:04,550 --> 00:23:06,430 That's why I got the coat rack. 448 00:23:06,510 --> 00:23:09,260 [Larry] Yeah, well, anything's interesting for a while, Bob. 449 00:23:10,222 --> 00:23:12,472 Dental surgery is interesting for a while, 450 00:23:12,558 --> 00:23:14,428 But some things get old in a hurry. 451 00:23:17,021 --> 00:23:19,651 - It's somethin' that has to be done. - Ah! Well! 452 00:23:22,234 --> 00:23:25,154 There you are, Bob. Words handed down from on high. 453 00:23:25,237 --> 00:23:27,407 [deep voice] It's something that has to be done. 454 00:23:28,741 --> 00:23:30,911 Larry, let me bum a cigarette off you. 455 00:23:30,993 --> 00:23:33,243 Well, you could ordinarily, Phil, but not anymore. 456 00:23:33,329 --> 00:23:36,079 - I gave it up. - You did not. 457 00:23:36,165 --> 00:23:37,825 - I swear to God. - When? 458 00:23:37,917 --> 00:23:40,877 Couple of months ago. And you would too, if you knew what was good for you. 459 00:23:40,961 --> 00:23:42,711 Fuck you, Larry. You're not my wife. 460 00:23:44,590 --> 00:23:46,260 You're right, Phil. I'm not your wife. 461 00:23:46,759 --> 00:23:48,969 And it's good of you to point that out 462 00:23:49,053 --> 00:23:52,143 because, as close as we are, I sometimes forget. 463 00:23:52,848 --> 00:23:55,327 You know, Bob's got more sense than the two of us put together. 464 00:23:55,351 --> 00:23:57,662 You've never smoked a cigarette in your life, have you, Bob? 465 00:23:57,686 --> 00:23:58,556 No, I haven't. 466 00:23:58,646 --> 00:24:00,726 I bet you don't drink much either, do ya? 467 00:24:01,482 --> 00:24:02,822 An occasional beer now and then. 468 00:24:02,900 --> 00:24:04,860 - Yeah, but nothin' hard, right? - No. 469 00:24:04,944 --> 00:24:06,324 And correct me if I'm wrong, 470 00:24:06,403 --> 00:24:08,663 But I'm willing to bet... I'd even lay money... 471 00:24:08,739 --> 00:24:10,239 that never in your life 472 00:24:10,324 --> 00:24:13,084 have you walked into a strip joint, walked up on the stage, 473 00:24:13,160 --> 00:24:14,763 grabbed the dancer, threw her down on the ground 474 00:24:14,787 --> 00:24:16,707 and fucked her brains out, in front of everybody. 475 00:24:17,832 --> 00:24:21,252 - I never what? - Jesus Christ, Larry. 476 00:24:21,335 --> 00:24:23,085 Just answer the question, yes or no. 477 00:24:24,588 --> 00:24:27,798 No. I... I've never even been near a place like that. 478 00:24:27,883 --> 00:24:30,445 See, that's what I was saying. you oughta apply for sainthood, Bob 479 00:24:30,469 --> 00:24:33,615 Competition's not as stiff as it used to be. You got a good chance of gettin' in. 480 00:24:33,639 --> 00:24:34,929 - You Catholic? - No. 481 00:24:35,015 --> 00:24:36,765 - Episcopalian? - No. 482 00:24:36,851 --> 00:24:38,231 - What then? - Uh, Baptist. 483 00:24:40,062 --> 00:24:41,562 Oh, well, that is a problem. 484 00:24:41,647 --> 00:24:43,750 But they must have something like that, shouldn't they? 485 00:24:43,774 --> 00:24:45,961 For people who go through their whole lives without doing anything. 486 00:24:45,985 --> 00:24:47,525 Not as far as I know. 487 00:24:47,611 --> 00:24:49,951 Well, damn it. Then it's time to change religions, Bob. 488 00:24:50,030 --> 00:24:52,425 Go someplace you're appreciated, where there's a chance to move up. 489 00:24:52,449 --> 00:24:53,829 You let me know if it happens. 490 00:24:53,909 --> 00:24:55,199 [Bob] You'll be the first. 491 00:24:55,286 --> 00:24:56,366 Remember it was my idea. 492 00:24:56,453 --> 00:24:59,503 I get dibs on the concessions: Little plastic statues, things like that. 493 00:24:59,582 --> 00:25:00,502 Where are you going? 494 00:25:00,583 --> 00:25:03,213 I'm gonna run down to the bar. I'll be right back. 495 00:25:04,628 --> 00:25:05,838 I'll go with you. 496 00:25:06,714 --> 00:25:08,974 Uh, no, no. You better stay here. 497 00:25:09,383 --> 00:25:11,343 Have to have somebody keep their eye on Larry, 498 00:25:11,427 --> 00:25:13,137 make sure he doesn't sublet the joint. 499 00:25:13,596 --> 00:25:15,556 When you're there, why don't you stop on 15? 500 00:25:15,639 --> 00:25:18,119 And see what it's like with people who know what they're doing. 501 00:25:18,184 --> 00:25:20,104 That is, if you can live with the shame. 502 00:25:21,520 --> 00:25:23,230 And bring me back some shrimp! 503 00:25:26,525 --> 00:25:27,525 What a nut. 504 00:25:28,903 --> 00:25:30,823 - Him or you? - Him. 505 00:25:31,322 --> 00:25:32,572 The guy cracks me up. 506 00:25:32,656 --> 00:25:35,486 He's not the one I would exactly call a nut around here. 507 00:25:35,576 --> 00:25:37,156 That's just because you don't know him. 508 00:25:37,244 --> 00:25:38,584 You want a carrot stick, Bob? 509 00:25:38,871 --> 00:25:40,581 How long have you and he worked together? 510 00:25:40,664 --> 00:25:42,374 That depends on what you mean. 511 00:25:42,458 --> 00:25:44,378 - Do you want a carrot stick, Bob? - No, thanks. 512 00:25:45,211 --> 00:25:48,051 Well, in geologic time, we just met. 513 00:25:48,130 --> 00:25:50,170 However, in dog years, we go way back. 514 00:25:51,258 --> 00:25:52,428 How 'bout human years? 515 00:25:56,680 --> 00:25:58,010 - Human years? - Yeah. 516 00:25:59,934 --> 00:26:02,064 We've known each other a while. Why do you ask? 517 00:26:02,144 --> 00:26:06,024 - He strikes me as an interesting guy. - Oh, that's one hell of a guy. 518 00:26:06,899 --> 00:26:09,229 Bob, if you're looking for somebody to admire, pick Phil. 519 00:26:09,318 --> 00:26:11,318 Not that asshole Jim Young. 520 00:26:12,112 --> 00:26:13,612 How long has he been divorced? 521 00:26:16,492 --> 00:26:18,832 I don't think he is officially, I think it's still pending. 522 00:26:18,911 --> 00:26:20,831 But don't quote me 'cause I don't really know. 523 00:26:21,205 --> 00:26:23,455 I think it's a shame he has to get divorced. 524 00:26:24,917 --> 00:26:26,577 Well, he doesn't have to, Bob. 525 00:26:26,669 --> 00:26:29,379 I mean, he's making a choice to gain something. 526 00:26:29,797 --> 00:26:32,627 - Like what? - His freedom, I guess. 527 00:26:33,384 --> 00:26:35,934 Still, it seems like an awful lot to give up. 528 00:26:36,011 --> 00:26:38,261 Well, sometimes, Bob, you gotta chew your leg off 529 00:26:38,347 --> 00:26:39,887 to get out of life's traps. 530 00:26:41,141 --> 00:26:42,141 I guess. 531 00:26:51,902 --> 00:26:54,652 Phil's gone through a lot of changes in the last couple of years, 532 00:26:54,738 --> 00:26:56,158 And I don't just mean the divorce. 533 00:26:56,240 --> 00:26:58,280 Really? How so? 534 00:26:58,867 --> 00:27:00,447 Well, he used to be a... 535 00:27:02,162 --> 00:27:03,162 I don't know. 536 00:27:04,415 --> 00:27:07,285 One day he'd be ridin' the clouds, the world was a beautiful place, 537 00:27:07,376 --> 00:27:09,496 And he was just happy to be in it, and... 538 00:27:10,087 --> 00:27:11,087 the next day, 539 00:27:11,171 --> 00:27:13,971 you wouldn't even know you were talkin' to the same person. 540 00:27:14,049 --> 00:27:15,929 It was like somebody let the air out of him. 541 00:27:17,136 --> 00:27:20,886 You got the impression that at any moment he could pull out a gun and shoot himself. 542 00:27:21,432 --> 00:27:23,312 [Larry] And even then, he was real personable. 543 00:27:23,767 --> 00:27:24,767 He just... 544 00:27:25,602 --> 00:27:28,152 I don't know. I got the feeling that something inside of him 545 00:27:28,230 --> 00:27:29,650 had kind of... collapsed. 546 00:27:30,316 --> 00:27:33,036 - [bartender] what can I get you? - Change for the cigarette machine. 547 00:27:38,240 --> 00:27:41,080 Crown Royal on the house. Poured one too many. 548 00:27:41,160 --> 00:27:44,330 - No, thanks. - It's all right, really. 549 00:27:44,830 --> 00:27:47,500 No, no, thank you. Just the change. Thanks. 550 00:27:58,010 --> 00:27:59,930 [Bob] Things you don't know about a person. 551 00:28:00,012 --> 00:28:02,642 [Larry] That's why God gave us eyes and ears, to find out, 552 00:28:02,723 --> 00:28:05,643 except for some things that are none of our goddamn business. 553 00:28:08,395 --> 00:28:09,395 Sure. 554 00:28:09,897 --> 00:28:11,557 Ask me whatever you want about Phil. 555 00:28:11,648 --> 00:28:14,478 I'll be glad to tell you, if I think you're being sincere. 556 00:28:15,069 --> 00:28:17,069 But... don't ask him. 557 00:28:17,154 --> 00:28:19,784 He's been through a lot. He doesn't need to be pressed. 558 00:28:32,127 --> 00:28:35,207 - How long have you been married, Bob? - Six months. 559 00:28:36,215 --> 00:28:39,215 - You love your wife? - Do I love my wife? 560 00:28:40,344 --> 00:28:41,344 Why wouldn't I? 561 00:28:41,804 --> 00:28:45,474 Well, people get married for a lot of different reasons, Bob. 562 00:28:46,100 --> 00:28:48,140 You seem like a real principled guy to me. 563 00:28:48,227 --> 00:28:49,227 So? 564 00:28:50,562 --> 00:28:53,942 Well, I've known people. I'm not saying you're one of them. 565 00:28:54,024 --> 00:28:56,864 It's just I've known them who were real principled, 566 00:28:56,944 --> 00:29:00,784 and then they met somebody else who was real principled, 567 00:29:00,864 --> 00:29:02,574 and then the two of them got married, 568 00:29:03,992 --> 00:29:07,042 only to find out one day it was their principles that got married. 569 00:29:07,538 --> 00:29:09,998 Two of them just kind of came along for the ride. 570 00:29:11,792 --> 00:29:12,792 Oh. 571 00:29:13,919 --> 00:29:16,839 Love has a lot of counterfeits, Bob, not to get too deep. 572 00:29:17,923 --> 00:29:18,923 Sure. 573 00:29:24,388 --> 00:29:26,808 Hey, speak of the devil, where's my shrimp? 574 00:29:27,266 --> 00:29:28,266 [chuckles] 575 00:29:29,476 --> 00:29:31,476 [Phil] Eat a carrot if you're so goddamned hungry. 576 00:29:32,187 --> 00:29:33,347 Have a cheese ball. 577 00:29:34,523 --> 00:29:37,023 I don't want any cheese ball, alright. I want some shrimp. 578 00:29:37,109 --> 00:29:39,399 Then call room service and get some. 579 00:29:39,945 --> 00:29:41,585 I would, but I don't want to embarrass you 580 00:29:41,655 --> 00:29:42,882 [whispers] in front of the boy. 581 00:29:42,906 --> 00:29:45,156 Believe me, Larry, as long as I've known you, 582 00:29:45,242 --> 00:29:49,332 nothing you could possibly say or do, could ever embarrass me in the least. 583 00:29:49,413 --> 00:29:51,623 You see what I have to put up with? Twelve years now. 584 00:29:51,748 --> 00:29:54,168 But one day, no more. I'm comin' to work with an Uzi! 585 00:29:54,251 --> 00:29:56,591 You're gonna read about us in the newspapers the next day. 586 00:29:56,670 --> 00:30:00,670 - You sure I can't fix you something, Bob? - Yeah, maybe just a cola. 587 00:30:02,926 --> 00:30:04,586 - Give me an ashtray. - All right.. 588 00:30:04,678 --> 00:30:07,848 How 'bout you, Phil? What'll you have, a Black Russian? Martini with a twist? 589 00:30:09,933 --> 00:30:12,603 - I'll have a 7Up. - A 7Up? 590 00:30:13,687 --> 00:30:15,307 7Up with a twist of lime. 591 00:30:15,939 --> 00:30:17,439 You feelin' all right there, Phil? 592 00:30:18,150 --> 00:30:20,860 - I quit drinking. - You did? When? 593 00:30:21,445 --> 00:30:22,445 Recently. 594 00:30:23,572 --> 00:30:25,622 Well, I'll be a son of a bitch. 595 00:30:26,116 --> 00:30:27,576 I don't smoke, you don't drink, 596 00:30:27,659 --> 00:30:29,949 and Bob here, wouldn't think about lusting after a woman. 597 00:30:30,037 --> 00:30:33,207 Between the three of us, we're practically Jesus. 598 00:30:35,209 --> 00:30:37,209 Which reminds me, who's gonna bar tend tonight? 599 00:30:37,920 --> 00:30:39,840 - I figured Bob would. - Me? 600 00:30:39,922 --> 00:30:40,922 Yeah. You mind? 601 00:30:41,006 --> 00:30:44,006 Like I said, I'm not accustomed to drinking hard liquor. 602 00:30:44,968 --> 00:30:46,678 Nobody's asking you to drink it, Bob. 603 00:30:46,762 --> 00:30:49,562 - We're asking you to serve it. - I won't know what I'm doing. 604 00:30:49,640 --> 00:30:51,743 It doesn't matter, Bob. All you do is pour stuff in a glass. 605 00:30:51,767 --> 00:30:53,267 See? Now you know bar-tending. 606 00:30:53,894 --> 00:30:55,984 What about the formulas? 607 00:30:57,523 --> 00:31:00,233 Formulas. They're called recipes. 608 00:31:00,317 --> 00:31:02,527 We'll send out for a book. That's all. 609 00:31:02,986 --> 00:31:05,066 What if somebody wants something exotic? 610 00:31:05,155 --> 00:31:08,025 Oh, that's perfect. The only reason people order exotic drinks 611 00:31:08,116 --> 00:31:09,656 is to show how sophisticated they are. 612 00:31:09,743 --> 00:31:11,971 If they have to tell you how to mix it, it's all the better. 613 00:31:11,995 --> 00:31:13,056 It makes them feel like experts. 614 00:31:13,080 --> 00:31:15,160 Plus Larry and I are gonna have our hands full. 615 00:31:16,500 --> 00:31:18,210 Well, the brains of the company will try. 616 00:31:18,293 --> 00:31:20,713 That's all we ask for, Bob, is that you try. 617 00:31:21,588 --> 00:31:24,668 Gentlemen, here's to the profound, religious experience 618 00:31:24,758 --> 00:31:26,428 that comes from doing a job well 619 00:31:26,510 --> 00:31:29,850 - and being grossly underpaid. - Happy days. 620 00:31:30,472 --> 00:31:32,102 - Happy Jesus. - Happy... 621 00:31:32,432 --> 00:31:33,432 Amen. 622 00:31:37,729 --> 00:31:39,457 What time is this thing supposed to start tonight? 623 00:31:39,481 --> 00:31:40,481 Seven. 624 00:31:40,691 --> 00:31:41,691 You hungry? 625 00:31:43,026 --> 00:31:45,356 - I could probably eat, I guess. - What do you feel like? 626 00:31:46,196 --> 00:31:47,816 Maybe we oughta go on downstairs. 627 00:31:48,407 --> 00:31:50,385 Yeah, that's what we'll do That's exactly what we'll do. 628 00:31:50,409 --> 00:31:52,989 We'll go downstairs, we'll fill our bellies full of hotel food. 629 00:31:53,078 --> 00:31:55,288 We'll oogle the waitresses a little... or not. 630 00:31:56,206 --> 00:31:59,456 And then we'll come back up here and we'll show Bob the ropes. 631 00:31:59,543 --> 00:32:03,173 We'll teach him what it's like to do business. 632 00:32:04,673 --> 00:32:05,763 I'm looking forward to it. 633 00:32:05,841 --> 00:32:07,801 You think you're ready for the big time, Bob? 634 00:32:07,884 --> 00:32:10,014 Well, I guess there's only one way to find out, 635 00:32:10,387 --> 00:32:12,927 that's to throw me in the water, see if I can swim. 636 00:32:13,015 --> 00:32:14,742 Oh, I think you're missing the point here, Bob. 637 00:32:14,766 --> 00:32:17,726 We're about to throw you off a cliff and see if you can fly. 638 00:32:18,770 --> 00:32:21,560 - [Phil] You got a tag on your pants. - [Larry] I just bought it. 639 00:32:21,648 --> 00:32:23,001 [Phil] Take the little strings off. 640 00:32:23,025 --> 00:32:24,935 [Larry] Jesus Christ. You got any scissors? 641 00:32:46,798 --> 00:32:48,668 [Bob] The brains of the company will try. 642 00:32:48,759 --> 00:32:52,089 You are saved! You are saved! 643 00:32:52,179 --> 00:32:53,179 [sounds of a party] 644 00:32:53,263 --> 00:32:54,723 Drinks on the house! 645 00:32:54,806 --> 00:32:57,806 [jazz music] 646 00:33:03,607 --> 00:33:04,607 There you go! 647 00:33:04,691 --> 00:33:08,151 We save with Jesus! Drinks for everyone on the house. 648 00:33:08,236 --> 00:33:10,566 Line 'em up. Line 'em up, boys and girls. 649 00:33:10,656 --> 00:33:11,656 You need a light? 650 00:33:19,289 --> 00:33:22,419 - [lady] So... [laughs] - Yeah, you want a Gin Fixer. 651 00:33:22,501 --> 00:33:24,961 Did you say Gin Buck or Gin Fix? 652 00:33:28,340 --> 00:33:30,090 It's... [murmuring] 653 00:33:31,843 --> 00:33:33,143 What did you want? 654 00:33:33,595 --> 00:33:36,755 Uh... I'll give you this, some of this. 655 00:33:49,986 --> 00:33:50,986 [sighs] 656 00:34:04,584 --> 00:34:05,584 Phil? 657 00:34:06,753 --> 00:34:09,053 Phil, Phil, Phil! Do you know what time it is? 658 00:34:09,673 --> 00:34:12,013 - I'm sure you're gonna tell me. - It's 9:30! 659 00:34:12,092 --> 00:34:12,932 So what? 660 00:34:13,009 --> 00:34:15,238 What do you mean, "So what?" We started at 7. He's not coming! 661 00:34:15,262 --> 00:34:16,262 He said he'd be here. 662 00:34:16,346 --> 00:34:18,586 Well, he's kidding, because he's not here. He's not here. 663 00:34:18,640 --> 00:34:21,640 - Well, what do you want me to do? - Act a little concerned. 664 00:34:22,519 --> 00:34:23,519 I'm concerned. 665 00:34:23,603 --> 00:34:25,813 Oh, really? 'Cause you hide it really, really well. 666 00:34:27,399 --> 00:34:30,649 Well... just... have faith, 667 00:34:31,236 --> 00:34:32,236 would ya? 668 00:34:32,904 --> 00:34:33,904 Just once. 669 00:34:35,866 --> 00:34:37,736 Have fa... Ha... 670 00:34:40,454 --> 00:34:42,584 Have faith. 671 00:34:42,664 --> 00:34:46,134 [loud talking] 672 00:34:46,209 --> 00:34:49,169 [cheering] 673 00:35:13,862 --> 00:35:15,402 [man] Hey, thanks a lot, buddy. 674 00:35:22,287 --> 00:35:24,287 [background chatter] 675 00:35:24,372 --> 00:35:26,792 [man] This is the finest champagne... 676 00:35:32,506 --> 00:35:36,506 [jazz music] 677 00:35:54,027 --> 00:35:55,527 [Phil] That son of a bitch... 678 00:35:56,571 --> 00:36:00,411 talked to me about basketball for nearly two hours. 679 00:36:01,243 --> 00:36:02,793 And all he did was exhibit 680 00:36:02,869 --> 00:36:05,119 that he doesn't know the first thing about the game. 681 00:36:06,623 --> 00:36:09,253 What? You think you can get me a smaller glass? 682 00:36:09,334 --> 00:36:12,844 - How 'bout a little thimble or somethin'? - They're all dirty. 683 00:36:14,631 --> 00:36:15,631 Give me that bottle. 684 00:36:17,551 --> 00:36:19,391 That's what I love about these things. 685 00:36:19,469 --> 00:36:21,009 It kills me about these things... 686 00:36:21,096 --> 00:36:25,346 Is that you get a guy away from his wife for a couple days. 687 00:36:25,767 --> 00:36:27,767 You pour a couple of drinks into him, 688 00:36:27,853 --> 00:36:33,153 He, all of a sudden, becomes the world's foremost expert on sports. 689 00:36:33,233 --> 00:36:36,403 That's why God created wives, Bob. 690 00:36:37,654 --> 00:36:41,664 So that they could show men when they're bein' assholes. 691 00:36:41,741 --> 00:36:44,161 I mean, you get a guy away from his wife, 692 00:36:44,744 --> 00:36:46,124 for any length of time, 693 00:36:47,789 --> 00:36:50,079 and he hasn't the first idea how to behave. 694 00:36:51,626 --> 00:36:52,626 Take it from me. 695 00:36:52,711 --> 00:36:56,711 The Bible said God created Eve as a help mate. 696 00:36:58,466 --> 00:37:01,756 - As a what? - A helper. 697 00:37:02,262 --> 00:37:03,722 Suitable to meet his needs. 698 00:37:04,514 --> 00:37:08,484 I don't know anything about that, Bob, but what I do know is this: 699 00:37:09,227 --> 00:37:12,227 God created women to be mirrors, 700 00:37:12,314 --> 00:37:15,194 so a man could see what an ass he is. 701 00:37:17,027 --> 00:37:18,897 I mean, you talk to me about souls? 702 00:37:21,197 --> 00:37:25,117 A man does not know what his soul looks like. 703 00:37:25,785 --> 00:37:28,995 Hasn't any idea what his soul looks like 704 00:37:29,080 --> 00:37:33,750 until he gazes into the eyes of the woman that he's married to. 705 00:37:33,835 --> 00:37:36,995 And then, if he's any kind of decent human being, 706 00:37:38,006 --> 00:37:39,966 he spends the next couple days throwin' up. 707 00:37:41,885 --> 00:37:45,095 Because no man, no honest man, 708 00:37:45,180 --> 00:37:46,310 can stand that image. 709 00:37:47,057 --> 00:37:49,767 Go ahead, take your shoes off and be comfortable. Everybody's gone. 710 00:37:52,687 --> 00:37:54,647 I thought you said you didn't like being married. 711 00:37:56,066 --> 00:37:57,396 Well, I didn't, 712 00:37:58,818 --> 00:38:00,898 But that doesn't mean I don't recommend it. 713 00:38:01,571 --> 00:38:03,741 [sighs] 714 00:38:03,823 --> 00:38:07,663 There's a lot of things in this life, Bob, that are good for you... 715 00:38:07,744 --> 00:38:09,414 that are not necessarily pleasant. 716 00:38:09,996 --> 00:38:11,366 Like circumcision. 717 00:38:17,295 --> 00:38:20,795 Well, it's about time. Where the hell have you been? 718 00:38:20,882 --> 00:38:22,972 What do you mean, where the hell have I been? 719 00:38:23,051 --> 00:38:25,591 While you've been sittin' here, strokin' every swingin' dick 720 00:38:25,679 --> 00:38:27,179 that walked through that door, 721 00:38:27,263 --> 00:38:29,683 I've been in search of the Grand Kahuna! 722 00:38:29,766 --> 00:38:31,056 [clattering] 723 00:38:31,643 --> 00:38:34,233 - The what? - The savior, Bob. 724 00:38:34,312 --> 00:38:36,062 Εl Presidente. 725 00:38:36,147 --> 00:38:40,107 The man who, with one small utterance, one tiny ejaculation of sound, 726 00:38:40,193 --> 00:38:42,243 could make this company big with child. 727 00:38:42,320 --> 00:38:43,570 Did you find him? 728 00:38:46,074 --> 00:38:48,534 Phil, use your intuition here for a second. 729 00:38:48,618 --> 00:38:52,748 Use that God-given gift you have for smelling out the truth of a situation. 730 00:38:52,831 --> 00:38:54,831 Do I look as though I found him? 731 00:38:54,916 --> 00:38:57,166 - No. - Good. You still have it. 732 00:38:57,252 --> 00:38:59,002 [Bob] who are you guys talking about? 733 00:39:00,088 --> 00:39:03,758 We're talking about the Grand Kahuna, Bob. 734 00:39:03,842 --> 00:39:06,512 The great white wha... Did you ever read The Old Man and the Sea? 735 00:39:06,594 --> 00:39:08,724 - No. - Oh well then forget about it. 736 00:39:08,805 --> 00:39:11,595 We're talking about a man who represents, as an entity... 737 00:39:12,225 --> 00:39:14,635 the largest single account this company has 738 00:39:14,728 --> 00:39:16,438 or probably ever would have seen. 739 00:39:16,521 --> 00:39:18,611 - Potential account. - Oh, potential yeah. 740 00:39:18,690 --> 00:39:20,860 It's good of you to point that out, Phil. Potential! 741 00:39:21,818 --> 00:39:22,858 What could have been. 742 00:39:22,944 --> 00:39:24,824 Because it was our job, compadres, 743 00:39:24,904 --> 00:39:28,784 to turn that potentiality into reality, to have it show up in the coffers, 744 00:39:28,867 --> 00:39:30,447 to court this gentleman, 745 00:39:30,535 --> 00:39:33,745 to promise him favors, if necessary, to get him on our side. 746 00:39:33,830 --> 00:39:36,170 But did we succeed in this regard or did we fail? 747 00:39:36,249 --> 00:39:37,369 Let's see a show of hands. 748 00:39:39,294 --> 00:39:40,544 We'll be all right. 749 00:39:40,628 --> 00:39:42,298 Yeah, of course we'll be all right. 750 00:39:43,089 --> 00:39:46,719 Once they drag our bodies from the river and send our spirits to the moon. 751 00:39:46,801 --> 00:39:48,761 Then, sure. It's the intermediate stuff, Phil. 752 00:39:48,845 --> 00:39:51,385 It's the actual process of being skinned alive and set fire to. 753 00:39:51,473 --> 00:39:53,643 That's the difficult part. The rest is duck soup. 754 00:39:55,185 --> 00:39:57,185 You had to go searching for this guy? 755 00:39:59,564 --> 00:40:01,234 We had to, Bob. 756 00:40:01,316 --> 00:40:04,356 We weren't supposed to, but yes, we had to. 757 00:40:04,444 --> 00:40:07,074 He was supposed to have shown up here tonight. 758 00:40:07,155 --> 00:40:10,195 Someone was supposed to have lured him up here for a drink. 759 00:40:10,283 --> 00:40:11,993 What are you lookin' at me for? 760 00:40:13,745 --> 00:40:15,365 I done my job. 761 00:40:17,874 --> 00:40:21,094 - You phoned him? - You're goddamned right I phoned him. 762 00:40:21,169 --> 00:40:22,999 And you spoke to him direct? 763 00:40:26,674 --> 00:40:29,094 - I talked to his secretary. - [stifled grunting] 764 00:40:29,177 --> 00:40:31,297 He was on a long-distance call. 765 00:40:36,184 --> 00:40:38,484 She assured me that he'd be here. 766 00:40:38,561 --> 00:40:41,311 Oh, she assured you? Guess what? She was joking! 767 00:40:41,397 --> 00:40:44,567 She probably had her secretary friends gathered around the speaker phone saying, 768 00:40:44,651 --> 00:40:45,651 [whispers] "watch this." 769 00:40:45,735 --> 00:40:47,605 I bet she does stand-up on the side. 770 00:40:48,113 --> 00:40:49,743 Something probably just happened. 771 00:40:51,783 --> 00:40:54,453 I think it's rather obvious that something "happened." 772 00:40:54,994 --> 00:40:57,164 Maybe he just pulled up sick at the last minute. 773 00:40:57,747 --> 00:40:59,747 Oh, no, no, he's here. He's here, alright. 774 00:40:59,833 --> 00:41:02,520 No, I've heard his name bandied about all night long in the present tense. 775 00:41:02,544 --> 00:41:05,754 He's here, my friends. He just isn't here! 776 00:41:06,172 --> 00:41:07,672 If you get my subtle nuance. 777 00:41:08,174 --> 00:41:09,174 Well... 778 00:41:10,260 --> 00:41:11,260 we just have to... 779 00:41:11,886 --> 00:41:13,636 figure out some other way, is all. 780 00:41:15,723 --> 00:41:17,023 Phil, are you deaf? 781 00:41:17,642 --> 00:41:18,812 We lost the man. 782 00:41:18,893 --> 00:41:21,483 He was invited, but he did not come. 783 00:41:21,980 --> 00:41:23,940 We're like the dinosaurs when the climate changed. 784 00:41:23,982 --> 00:41:26,572 There is no longer any reason for us to roam the earth. 785 00:41:28,236 --> 00:41:31,156 Why can't you just schedule an appointment... 786 00:41:31,239 --> 00:41:32,949 and go and see him? 787 00:41:34,617 --> 00:41:36,595 You don't schedule an appointment with this guy, Bob. 788 00:41:36,619 --> 00:41:39,329 He's the president. He refers you to his people. 789 00:41:39,414 --> 00:41:40,914 So why not go see his people? 790 00:41:40,999 --> 00:41:43,289 Because they're all dildos, every single one of 'em. 791 00:41:43,793 --> 00:41:46,843 Sometimes you have to go past the smaller minds. 792 00:41:46,921 --> 00:41:49,801 You have to cozy up to someone a little higher on the ladder who can say, 793 00:41:49,841 --> 00:41:51,971 "I would really like to try some of this new product. 794 00:41:52,051 --> 00:41:55,101 Either buy some and try it or get the fuck out because you're fired!" 795 00:41:55,763 --> 00:41:58,393 Gonna put another call into his secretary in the morning. 796 00:42:00,518 --> 00:42:02,808 Phil, are you not hearing a word I'm saying? 797 00:42:03,563 --> 00:42:06,573 I realize it's human nature to think we stand another chance with this guy, 798 00:42:06,649 --> 00:42:07,769 but it's fantasy, man. 799 00:42:07,859 --> 00:42:10,739 We're gonna go back to Chicago tomorrow, and Evans is gonna say, 800 00:42:10,820 --> 00:42:13,280 "Hey, Phil, Larry, Bob, 801 00:42:14,157 --> 00:42:15,447 "come into my office. 802 00:42:16,075 --> 00:42:17,325 "I have something for ya. 803 00:42:18,119 --> 00:42:19,119 "Bend over." [groans] 804 00:42:22,540 --> 00:42:25,580 So what do you think, Bob? Do you wanna do this for a living? 805 00:42:26,127 --> 00:42:28,247 I don't know, I thought it was kind of interesting. 806 00:42:28,338 --> 00:42:29,378 Oh, yeah? How so? 807 00:42:30,882 --> 00:42:33,012 You get to hear a lot of interesting stories. 808 00:42:33,426 --> 00:42:35,336 That you do. They're far outweighed 809 00:42:35,428 --> 00:42:37,848 by the horse shit that flies across the room all night long, 810 00:42:37,931 --> 00:42:39,891 but they're there to listen for if you want. 811 00:42:39,974 --> 00:42:41,434 Are there always this many people? 812 00:42:41,517 --> 00:42:44,437 It just looked like a lot of people, Bob, 'cause the room's so damn small. 813 00:42:44,520 --> 00:42:45,440 Larry. 814 00:42:45,521 --> 00:42:47,441 Sorry, the carrot stick's gone to my head. 815 00:42:50,026 --> 00:42:52,396 I met a guy who started talking to me about dogs. 816 00:42:53,821 --> 00:42:54,951 What about dogs? 817 00:42:55,573 --> 00:42:57,283 [Bob] Just that he's always owned one. 818 00:42:57,700 --> 00:43:01,450 He told me that one way or the other, he's owned a dog his entire life, 819 00:43:02,247 --> 00:43:03,537 Most of them German Shepherds. 820 00:43:05,291 --> 00:43:07,671 That's not that unusual, Bob. A lot of people have dogs. 821 00:43:08,419 --> 00:43:11,759 Oh, I know, but that got us started on all sorts of things. 822 00:43:12,882 --> 00:43:16,132 Turns out he had to have his last one put to sleep 'cause it bit someone. 823 00:43:16,219 --> 00:43:19,389 So then he started telling me about the one before that... 824 00:43:20,098 --> 00:43:21,498 and the one before that. [Chuckles] 825 00:43:21,808 --> 00:43:24,268 And before we knew it, we traced his entire life... 826 00:43:24,686 --> 00:43:26,396 through this series of dogs. 827 00:43:27,897 --> 00:43:29,477 Mostly German Shepherds. 828 00:43:31,651 --> 00:43:33,491 I wish to hell Murdoch was here. 829 00:43:34,445 --> 00:43:35,445 [Bob] Who's Murdoch? 830 00:43:37,657 --> 00:43:38,907 Dale Murdoch. 831 00:43:39,867 --> 00:43:43,787 The best damn marketing rep this company has ever seen. 832 00:43:43,871 --> 00:43:44,871 [scoffs] 833 00:43:44,956 --> 00:43:46,416 God, Jesus, what a talent. 834 00:43:46,499 --> 00:43:49,249 - [Bob] Successful? - No, more than just successful, man. 835 00:43:49,335 --> 00:43:52,835 This guy... he had the gift. 836 00:43:52,922 --> 00:43:56,552 You know how, like, when you're watching athletes do what they're doing. 837 00:43:56,634 --> 00:43:59,144 It's like they're remembering something they've always known, 838 00:43:59,220 --> 00:44:00,739 instead of something they had to learn. 839 00:44:00,763 --> 00:44:03,203 That's what it was like with Murdoch, except only with people. 840 00:44:03,808 --> 00:44:05,558 - Where is he now? - Who, Murdoch? 841 00:44:05,643 --> 00:44:08,103 - Yeah. - Oh, he's gone on to his great reward. 842 00:44:08,187 --> 00:44:09,017 Oh. 843 00:44:09,105 --> 00:44:11,395 Yeah, I heard he's down in Florida somewhere. 844 00:44:11,482 --> 00:44:16,242 Last I heard, somebody said that he had a whole chain of Burger Kings. 845 00:44:16,321 --> 00:44:19,571 I wouldn't doubt it if it was the biggest goddamn chain in the state. 846 00:44:20,325 --> 00:44:22,775 But the days of Murdoch are behind us. 847 00:44:22,869 --> 00:44:25,039 Now it's the days of Larry and Phil. 848 00:44:25,121 --> 00:44:26,911 Phil and Larry and Bob, 849 00:44:26,998 --> 00:44:30,288 Three guys who are about to be royally fucked up the ass. 850 00:44:31,169 --> 00:44:32,169 We'll be all right. 851 00:44:34,756 --> 00:44:36,206 You think so, huh? 852 00:44:36,799 --> 00:44:37,879 Sure. 853 00:44:37,967 --> 00:44:39,445 Well, I hope you're right, for our sake, 854 00:44:39,469 --> 00:44:41,864 because letting Mr. Fuller slip through our fingers like this 855 00:44:41,888 --> 00:44:44,008 could be construed as an act of incompetence. 856 00:44:44,098 --> 00:44:45,848 It makes us look pretty damn bad. 857 00:44:47,935 --> 00:44:50,595 - Did you say Fuller? - Yeah. 858 00:44:51,522 --> 00:44:54,322 - Dick Fuller? - Yeah. Dick, Richard. 859 00:44:54,734 --> 00:44:55,784 Why, you know him? 860 00:44:55,860 --> 00:44:58,150 That was the guy I was talking to. 861 00:44:59,572 --> 00:45:00,572 What are you... what? 862 00:45:00,656 --> 00:45:02,656 The guy with the dogs! That was Dick Fuller. 863 00:45:03,201 --> 00:45:04,581 Oh, get out of here. 864 00:45:04,660 --> 00:45:07,120 No, I'm serious. Look, he even gave me his card. 865 00:45:07,789 --> 00:45:10,669 - Oh, son of a bitch! - Let me see it! 866 00:45:11,209 --> 00:45:13,169 I thought you checked everybody's name tag. 867 00:45:13,252 --> 00:45:15,939 I did check everybody's name tag, anybody that wasn't wearing a name tag, 868 00:45:15,963 --> 00:45:17,803 I came right out and said, "what's your name?" 869 00:45:17,882 --> 00:45:20,182 - He wasn't wearing his name tag. - What? 870 00:45:20,259 --> 00:45:22,799 No, he wasn't wearing his own. I think it was someone else's. 871 00:45:23,763 --> 00:45:26,353 Why on earth would he be wearing somebody else's name tag, Bob? 872 00:45:26,432 --> 00:45:29,522 Beats me. Looks like he had a couple of drinks before he got here. 873 00:45:29,602 --> 00:45:30,892 Maybe he swapped it someone. 874 00:45:30,978 --> 00:45:32,664 I got the impression he wanted to be left alone. 875 00:45:32,688 --> 00:45:34,188 He was awful broken up about the dog. 876 00:45:34,273 --> 00:45:37,533 I do not fuckin' believe this. We had Dick Fuller right here within our grasp, 877 00:45:37,610 --> 00:45:39,490 but we let him slip through our fingers! 878 00:45:39,904 --> 00:45:41,864 - Sorry. - It's not your fault, Bob. 879 00:45:41,948 --> 00:45:43,868 We had him, we had him. He was ours. 880 00:45:43,950 --> 00:45:47,870 Next time, you ask people's names, whether they're wearing badges or not. 881 00:45:47,954 --> 00:45:49,674 I'll give you a little piece of information. 882 00:45:49,747 --> 00:45:51,577 There will be no next time for us, my friend. 883 00:45:51,666 --> 00:45:54,836 We had Dick Fuller within our sphere of influence, 884 00:45:54,919 --> 00:45:57,629 and we let him... Walk out of here without hearing from us 885 00:45:57,713 --> 00:45:59,423 a word of what we had to say. 886 00:46:00,967 --> 00:46:01,967 We'll be all right. 887 00:46:02,051 --> 00:46:04,221 What did you guys talk about, Bob? 888 00:46:05,221 --> 00:46:07,061 Just... I don't know, stuff. 889 00:46:07,640 --> 00:46:10,810 Could you be a little more specific? Did you talk sports, weather, what? 890 00:46:11,811 --> 00:46:13,151 Dogs mostly. 891 00:46:13,563 --> 00:46:14,733 That's it? Nothing else? 892 00:46:16,691 --> 00:46:20,281 That and stuff about our families. He asked about my wife. 893 00:46:20,361 --> 00:46:21,821 - Your wife? - Yeah. 894 00:46:21,904 --> 00:46:23,544 What did he want to know about your wife? 895 00:46:24,198 --> 00:46:25,908 Nothing, he just asked. 896 00:46:25,992 --> 00:46:28,372 Did you tell him he could have her if he wanted, 897 00:46:28,453 --> 00:46:30,431 in consideration for throwing a little business our way? 898 00:46:30,455 --> 00:46:31,455 Larry. 899 00:46:31,914 --> 00:46:34,044 Well, what? What did you talk about, Bob?! 900 00:46:36,627 --> 00:46:38,707 [sighs] 901 00:46:39,714 --> 00:46:42,634 Just... I don't know. Religion some. 902 00:46:43,676 --> 00:46:46,363 You talked to the president of one of the largest manufacturing firms 903 00:46:46,387 --> 00:46:48,217 in all of the Midwest about religion? 904 00:46:49,098 --> 00:46:50,928 Is that who he is? I didn't know. 905 00:46:51,017 --> 00:46:53,187 Okay, wait, wait. What did you say to him? 906 00:46:53,269 --> 00:46:55,269 What exactly did you tell him about religion? 907 00:46:56,856 --> 00:46:58,106 [sighs] 908 00:46:58,191 --> 00:46:59,231 We just talked. 909 00:46:59,317 --> 00:47:01,147 - You didn't contradict him, did you? - No. 910 00:47:01,235 --> 00:47:02,435 Well, thank God. 911 00:47:02,528 --> 00:47:04,590 That's the first rule about talking religion at a convention 912 00:47:04,614 --> 00:47:06,074 is, "Do not contradict the client." 913 00:47:06,157 --> 00:47:08,067 No, I take that back. That's the second rule. 914 00:47:08,159 --> 00:47:10,909 The first rule about talking religion at a convention is "Don't." 915 00:47:10,995 --> 00:47:12,865 - Don't... Don't what? - Don't do it. 916 00:47:12,955 --> 00:47:15,205 Well, we seem to have survived. 917 00:47:15,291 --> 00:47:17,711 - Did you contradict him? - No. 918 00:47:17,793 --> 00:47:20,253 Well, then that's why, Bob. That's the reason you survived. 919 00:47:21,631 --> 00:47:23,421 I thought it was a nice chat. 920 00:47:24,008 --> 00:47:28,348 How did you end up talking about religion with Dick Fuller... in the first place? 921 00:47:29,514 --> 00:47:32,394 It just came up with the stories of his dogs dying and all. 922 00:47:32,475 --> 00:47:34,265 You told him his dogs were in heaven? 923 00:47:34,852 --> 00:47:35,852 No. 924 00:47:35,937 --> 00:47:37,847 You told him his dogs were in hell? 925 00:47:37,939 --> 00:47:39,059 Of course not. 926 00:47:39,148 --> 00:47:42,028 Well, then what, Bob? What exactly did you say to the man? 927 00:47:42,401 --> 00:47:43,401 [Bob sighing] 928 00:47:44,070 --> 00:47:45,530 We just... we started talking. 929 00:47:45,613 --> 00:47:47,913 The thing about the dogs was just a lead-in. 930 00:47:48,449 --> 00:47:51,119 I mean, it got us talking about life and death. 931 00:47:53,371 --> 00:47:55,711 It was a lead-in, Bob? 932 00:47:56,666 --> 00:47:57,666 Sure. 933 00:47:59,835 --> 00:48:01,745 Which implies, does it not, that you were... 934 00:48:02,797 --> 00:48:06,877 looking for the opportunity to talk about life and death? 935 00:48:06,968 --> 00:48:09,428 Sure, I-I guess so. Sure. 936 00:48:09,512 --> 00:48:13,642 No, don't say sure. It's not like "sure." How am I supposed to know? 937 00:48:13,724 --> 00:48:17,024 Bob, I mean, most... Most people, you know, don't go around 938 00:48:17,103 --> 00:48:20,313 looking for opportunities to strike up conversations with total strangers 939 00:48:20,398 --> 00:48:23,228 about life and death and religion and things of that ilk. 940 00:48:23,317 --> 00:48:26,027 - Some people do. - Some people, yeah. 941 00:48:26,112 --> 00:48:28,992 I guess there's some people, and apparently you're one of them. 942 00:48:29,073 --> 00:48:31,033 But most people, no, Bob. Most people... 943 00:48:31,117 --> 00:48:32,657 If you ask about life and death, 944 00:48:32,743 --> 00:48:35,083 they say, "Hey, life is good. Death is bad. The end." 945 00:48:35,162 --> 00:48:37,002 They don't go around looking for opportunities. 946 00:48:37,665 --> 00:48:39,415 Well, then I guess I'm not most people. 947 00:48:40,459 --> 00:48:43,589 Bob, I... That's probably true. I would say that's very safe to say. 948 00:48:44,630 --> 00:48:47,359 Look, I just think it's important to let people know what you believe. 949 00:48:47,383 --> 00:48:49,303 Oh, Jesus Christ! 950 00:48:49,385 --> 00:48:52,295 If I had known that you were supposed to get in touch with the guy, 951 00:48:52,388 --> 00:48:55,268 then I would have told you, I would have alerted you somehow. 952 00:48:55,766 --> 00:48:57,056 It's not your fault, Bob. 953 00:48:58,561 --> 00:48:59,561 [Larry] Phil! 954 00:49:01,606 --> 00:49:04,146 How was he to know? He was just talkin' to the guy. 955 00:49:04,233 --> 00:49:07,533 Talkin' to the guy, yes. But listening? No, I don't think so. 956 00:49:07,612 --> 00:49:10,742 At least not for the opportunities to advance the interests of the company. 957 00:49:10,823 --> 00:49:14,163 Maybe if the conversation had stayed on a more temporal plane, 958 00:49:14,243 --> 00:49:16,953 then just maybe, perhaps, it might have worked itself around 959 00:49:17,038 --> 00:49:19,658 to the subject of where lubricants might have been mentioned! 960 00:49:19,749 --> 00:49:20,749 You don't know that. 961 00:49:20,833 --> 00:49:23,213 Oh, come on. I think the odds are a hell of a lot better, 962 00:49:23,294 --> 00:49:25,939 but as it was, the conversation was not allowed to have a natural course, 963 00:49:25,963 --> 00:49:28,513 because somebody was at the helm directing it. Am I right, Bob? 964 00:49:28,591 --> 00:49:31,181 Sounds to me like the guy just wanted to be left alone. 965 00:49:31,594 --> 00:49:33,724 Well, that is not the point and you know it. 966 00:49:33,804 --> 00:49:35,854 Phil's right. He practically came out and said it. 967 00:49:35,931 --> 00:49:39,811 Well, guys, friends, compadres, it was our task at hand 968 00:49:39,894 --> 00:49:42,694 to overcome that desire of his for a little while, 969 00:49:43,064 --> 00:49:44,484 to garner his interest, 970 00:49:44,565 --> 00:49:47,355 and I submit to you he did not want to be left alone. 971 00:49:47,443 --> 00:49:50,113 If he had, he would have stayed in his hotel room all night long. 972 00:49:50,196 --> 00:49:52,174 He would not have gone cruising the hospitality suites 973 00:49:52,198 --> 00:49:53,368 in search of conversation. 974 00:49:53,449 --> 00:49:55,449 I submit to you he did not wish to be left alone, 975 00:49:55,534 --> 00:49:56,794 but only not to talk business. 976 00:49:56,869 --> 00:49:59,909 - In which case we're out of luck anyway. - Oh, now, Phil. Come on. 977 00:49:59,997 --> 00:50:01,600 There's ways around that, and you know it. 978 00:50:01,624 --> 00:50:04,544 Not to badger the man, but to let him know what we came here to tell him. 979 00:50:04,627 --> 00:50:05,957 That's what I'm saying. 980 00:50:06,045 --> 00:50:07,045 I'm sorry. 981 00:50:07,088 --> 00:50:10,168 There's no good to be sorry, Bob. It doesn't do us any good now. 982 00:50:10,257 --> 00:50:11,337 What else can I do? 983 00:50:11,425 --> 00:50:13,835 Nothing, there is nothing you can do now at this juncture! 984 00:50:13,928 --> 00:50:14,928 Nothing. 985 00:50:24,021 --> 00:50:25,821 Did he happen to mention where he was staying? 986 00:50:26,816 --> 00:50:28,066 Somewhere in the hotel. 987 00:50:28,150 --> 00:50:29,230 This hotel? 988 00:50:30,236 --> 00:50:31,236 Yes. 989 00:50:31,320 --> 00:50:33,910 What are you gonna do, Larry? Bang on his door after midnight? 990 00:50:33,989 --> 00:50:36,385 I'm just asking. Is there a crime in that? Because I'm thinking 991 00:50:36,409 --> 00:50:38,989 that maybe tomorrow morning we could... you know, 992 00:50:39,078 --> 00:50:42,118 run into him in the coffee shop downstairs accidentally. 993 00:50:42,206 --> 00:50:44,456 - We don't know what he looks like. - Well, Bob does. 994 00:50:44,542 --> 00:50:45,962 I'd be willing to do that. 995 00:50:48,003 --> 00:50:50,673 What's all this business on the back of his card, Bob? 996 00:50:51,632 --> 00:50:53,552 That's where he was going after he left here. 997 00:50:53,634 --> 00:50:54,764 What, what, what? 998 00:50:54,844 --> 00:50:57,394 Some kind of private party at the hotel down the street. 999 00:50:57,471 --> 00:50:59,351 Well, what are we doing here? Let's go! 1000 00:50:59,432 --> 00:51:00,432 We can't. 1001 00:51:00,516 --> 00:51:02,516 - Why not? - It's by invitation only. 1002 00:51:02,601 --> 00:51:03,441 So? 1003 00:51:03,519 --> 00:51:05,979 So, I think he'd get mad if we all showed up like that. 1004 00:51:06,063 --> 00:51:07,983 He made a big point about how private it was. 1005 00:51:08,065 --> 00:51:10,895 That's the least of our worries. If he gets mad, we'll deal with it. 1006 00:51:10,985 --> 00:51:12,525 Come on. Grab your coats. 1007 00:51:12,611 --> 00:51:14,861 - No, not so fast, Larry. - What? 1008 00:51:14,947 --> 00:51:16,777 I think Bob may be right. 1009 00:51:16,866 --> 00:51:19,526 I mean, we don't want to barge in on this guy. 1010 00:51:19,618 --> 00:51:20,618 Phil! 1011 00:51:20,703 --> 00:51:22,503 Well... Well, think about it. 1012 00:51:22,580 --> 00:51:26,370 Do you really want to piss this guy off by crashing some exclusive party, 1013 00:51:26,459 --> 00:51:28,419 not to mention whoever else might be there? 1014 00:51:28,502 --> 00:51:30,814 What do you suggest we do? Stand around here in a circle jerk 1015 00:51:30,838 --> 00:51:33,119 while the account of a lifetime slips through our fingers? 1016 00:51:33,799 --> 00:51:35,009 No, no. 1017 00:51:35,092 --> 00:51:36,262 Well, what then? 1018 00:51:42,516 --> 00:51:43,766 I think we send Bob. 1019 00:51:45,644 --> 00:51:46,644 What? 1020 00:51:47,480 --> 00:51:50,610 Look, he gave you that thing as an invitation, right? 1021 00:51:51,192 --> 00:51:53,032 Yeah, he said it would get me in. 1022 00:51:53,110 --> 00:51:55,570 Phil, Phil, Phil! Don't do this to me, man. 1023 00:51:55,654 --> 00:51:57,414 What choice do we have? 1024 00:51:57,948 --> 00:52:00,578 That is our only legitimate way in there. 1025 00:52:00,659 --> 00:52:03,329 Besides, he knows Bob. 1026 00:52:03,829 --> 00:52:06,539 They talked. Bob's got an in. 1027 00:52:06,624 --> 00:52:08,794 You are putting our future in the hands of a kid. 1028 00:52:10,085 --> 00:52:12,245 Nah, it's gonna be all right. Give me your card. 1029 00:52:12,338 --> 00:52:14,008 - Oh, Jesus Christ... - Give me your card. 1030 00:52:17,551 --> 00:52:18,471 All right. 1031 00:52:18,552 --> 00:52:20,722 Now, here's what I want you to do. Sit down! 1032 00:52:23,057 --> 00:52:24,057 Listen to me. 1033 00:52:24,141 --> 00:52:25,141 I'm listening. 1034 00:52:26,060 --> 00:52:27,980 All right, here's what I want you to do. 1035 00:52:29,730 --> 00:52:31,730 I want you to go down the street 1036 00:52:31,816 --> 00:52:33,646 and see if you can find Mr. Fuller. 1037 00:52:34,151 --> 00:52:36,401 If you're fortunate and he is still there, 1038 00:52:36,487 --> 00:52:39,157 I want you to give him our business cards. 1039 00:52:39,240 --> 00:52:41,620 Tell him that we are very anxious 1040 00:52:41,700 --> 00:52:42,780 to meet with him... 1041 00:52:43,410 --> 00:52:45,160 as soon as it's humanly possible. 1042 00:52:45,246 --> 00:52:47,286 - You got that? - As soon as humanly possible. 1043 00:52:47,373 --> 00:52:50,923 Okay. Tell him we'll be around the hotel all morning tomorrow. 1044 00:52:51,001 --> 00:52:54,461 He can reach us here or at the numbers on these cards. 1045 00:52:55,172 --> 00:52:57,222 All right, here. Ask him... 1046 00:52:57,299 --> 00:53:00,639 Ask him to please get a hold of either Larry or me, 1047 00:53:01,303 --> 00:53:04,603 because we would like to speak to him very briefly... 1048 00:53:04,682 --> 00:53:05,972 about business. 1049 00:53:06,058 --> 00:53:07,728 Business, just business. 1050 00:53:07,810 --> 00:53:10,310 Explain to him we know that he's very busy. 1051 00:53:10,396 --> 00:53:12,186 It won't take up much time, 1052 00:53:12,273 --> 00:53:15,823 but there are a few things that we need to discuss. 1053 00:53:16,569 --> 00:53:17,859 Now, do you have that, Bob? 1054 00:53:17,945 --> 00:53:21,275 - Yeah, I'll try. - All you have to do... Listen to me. 1055 00:53:21,365 --> 00:53:23,865 All you have to do is give him the cards and leave. 1056 00:53:23,951 --> 00:53:25,491 What if he wants to talk? 1057 00:53:25,578 --> 00:53:27,788 Well, then you talk as long as he wants. 1058 00:53:27,872 --> 00:53:30,502 Forty days and forty nights, if you have to, until he tires of it. 1059 00:53:30,583 --> 00:53:32,543 Then you come back here and tell us what happened. 1060 00:53:33,627 --> 00:53:34,707 You'll wait up? 1061 00:53:34,795 --> 00:53:37,625 Till the next fiscal quarter. Beyond that, I can't make any guarantees. 1062 00:53:39,133 --> 00:53:41,223 Don't worry about it. You're gonna do fine. 1063 00:53:41,302 --> 00:53:42,392 Yeah, you'll do fine, Bob. 1064 00:53:42,469 --> 00:53:44,072 I'm sorry for doubting you. Of course you'll do fine. 1065 00:53:44,096 --> 00:53:45,866 If you follow those instructions to the letter... 1066 00:53:45,890 --> 00:53:47,409 - you'll do great, you understand? - Yes. 1067 00:53:47,433 --> 00:53:49,983 Okay, good. Now go. Time's a-Wasting. 1068 00:53:50,936 --> 00:53:53,476 - I'll see you guys later. - Okay, and hurry! But not too fast! 1069 00:53:53,564 --> 00:53:56,126 Because you'll work up a sweat and he won't want to come near you. 1070 00:53:56,150 --> 00:53:57,360 [under breath] Okay. 1071 00:54:04,950 --> 00:54:06,370 Do I, uh... 1072 00:54:07,369 --> 00:54:10,409 Do I strike you as a particularly religious man, Phil? 1073 00:54:13,375 --> 00:54:14,575 Not in the slightest. 1074 00:54:16,587 --> 00:54:20,417 Then why am I seized with a sudden, overwhelming desire to... 1075 00:54:20,507 --> 00:54:21,627 pray? 1076 00:55:00,130 --> 00:55:02,130 [applause, whistling on TV] 1077 00:55:04,510 --> 00:55:07,390 [man on TV] I should let it dry, but I'm a little impatient. 1078 00:55:18,774 --> 00:55:20,654 I wonder if he found him. 1079 00:55:23,237 --> 00:55:24,947 [exhales] He found him. 1080 00:55:25,614 --> 00:55:26,784 What makes you so sure? 1081 00:55:27,908 --> 00:55:30,028 [sighs] 1082 00:55:30,119 --> 00:55:32,499 He hadn't have, he would've been back by now. 1083 00:55:33,747 --> 00:55:34,827 Not necessarily. 1084 00:55:35,833 --> 00:55:37,003 It'll be all right. 1085 00:55:37,710 --> 00:55:38,710 Yeah. 1086 00:55:44,466 --> 00:55:46,586 Phil, can I ask you something seriously? 1087 00:55:48,262 --> 00:55:49,262 Yeah. 1088 00:55:49,346 --> 00:55:51,806 Are you on some kind of medication I should know about? 1089 00:55:57,980 --> 00:56:00,110 What makes you think I'm taking medication? 1090 00:56:01,442 --> 00:56:04,822 Because I've never seen you this relaxed before. 1091 00:56:05,738 --> 00:56:08,658 I almost get the impression that you just frankly don't give a shit. 1092 00:56:11,285 --> 00:56:12,285 I don't. 1093 00:56:13,370 --> 00:56:14,540 No, I know that. 1094 00:56:14,621 --> 00:56:16,751 We all don't give a shit to a certain extent. 1095 00:56:16,832 --> 00:56:18,922 What I'm saying is it's like you don't care. 1096 00:56:22,046 --> 00:56:23,416 I'm tired, Larry. 1097 00:56:24,256 --> 00:56:26,716 Well, I recognize that. It's been a very long day. 1098 00:56:27,384 --> 00:56:28,554 That's not what I mean. 1099 00:56:36,393 --> 00:56:40,233 I get what you're driving at, and I sympathize. I do. 1100 00:56:40,314 --> 00:56:43,694 We all know you've been going through a lot lately, Phil, and... 1101 00:56:43,776 --> 00:56:45,936 for a long time I've been meaning to state outright, 1102 00:56:46,028 --> 00:56:49,198 if you need anything at all, you don't hesitate to call, day or night. 1103 00:56:50,449 --> 00:56:53,989 I would've said something sooner, but I-I thought maybe it was understood. 1104 00:56:54,828 --> 00:56:56,118 I assumed as much. 1105 00:56:57,039 --> 00:57:00,209 Well, you were right, too, and I hope you know I mean it. 1106 00:57:01,627 --> 00:57:04,337 I've been thinkin' about makin' a few changes. 1107 00:57:06,215 --> 00:57:07,255 Like what? 1108 00:57:07,883 --> 00:57:10,303 I don't know. Just changes. 1109 00:57:12,679 --> 00:57:14,259 Well, you sure that's wise, Phil? 1110 00:57:14,348 --> 00:57:17,978 I mean, you've had an awful lot of changes imposed on you in recent days. 1111 00:57:18,060 --> 00:57:21,150 Maybe it's time for you to just, you know, let things settle. 1112 00:57:25,359 --> 00:57:27,739 I've been toying with the idea of... 1113 00:57:27,820 --> 00:57:30,950 pursuing a... different line of work. 1114 00:57:32,241 --> 00:57:33,661 Something other than marketing? 1115 00:57:36,370 --> 00:57:37,370 Yeah. 1116 00:57:37,454 --> 00:57:40,374 Well, speaking as your friend, Phil, as one who knows you... 1117 00:57:40,999 --> 00:57:42,079 intimately, as it were, 1118 00:57:42,167 --> 00:57:44,207 I-I think that's a bad idea, 1119 00:57:44,294 --> 00:57:46,504 Dare I say an entirely shitty idea. 1120 00:57:47,089 --> 00:57:48,259 Why? 1121 00:57:48,340 --> 00:57:51,510 Well, because "A," you were born for this. You have a gift. 1122 00:57:52,177 --> 00:57:53,387 I'm not Murdoch. 1123 00:57:54,638 --> 00:57:56,138 Well, nobody's Murdoch. 1124 00:57:57,182 --> 00:58:00,352 Murdoch doesn't exist. He's what we pumped him up to be. 1125 00:58:01,562 --> 00:58:05,312 "B," I don't exactly relish the idea of goin' out on the road with somebody new. 1126 00:58:07,067 --> 00:58:08,857 It was gonna happen sooner or later. 1127 00:58:09,528 --> 00:58:10,358 No, it wasn't. 1128 00:58:10,445 --> 00:58:13,155 I was always hoping we'd end in a kind of murder-suicide thing. 1129 00:58:14,950 --> 00:58:16,410 [sigh] 1130 00:58:20,455 --> 00:58:24,035 [quiet chatter] 1131 00:59:08,086 --> 00:59:09,876 [Phil sighing] 1132 00:59:11,173 --> 00:59:12,973 I've been thinking about... 1133 00:59:13,050 --> 00:59:15,340 a lot of other things lately too. 1134 00:59:17,971 --> 00:59:20,033 Well, Phil, if something's bothering you, get it out. 1135 00:59:20,057 --> 00:59:22,427 I mean, it doesn't do any good to let things fester. 1136 00:59:23,185 --> 00:59:24,845 What exactly have you been... 1137 00:59:25,729 --> 00:59:26,979 thinking so much about? 1138 00:59:28,941 --> 00:59:29,861 Life. 1139 00:59:29,942 --> 00:59:30,942 Life? 1140 00:59:32,402 --> 00:59:33,742 And death. 1141 00:59:34,821 --> 00:59:36,161 Jesus, not you too? 1142 00:59:36,240 --> 00:59:38,635 What is it with everyone suddenly thinking about life and death? 1143 00:59:38,659 --> 00:59:39,739 Is there something going on 1144 00:59:39,826 --> 00:59:41,846 that nobody's telling me that I should be told about, 1145 00:59:41,870 --> 00:59:43,200 like sunspots or something? 1146 00:59:43,288 --> 00:59:45,918 Is there a plague coming to wipe us from the globe? 1147 00:59:47,501 --> 00:59:48,671 Strange things happen. 1148 00:59:49,586 --> 00:59:50,666 No, they don't. 1149 00:59:50,754 --> 00:59:53,134 Not unless they're printed first in USA Today. 1150 00:59:53,215 --> 00:59:55,625 Jesus comes again, he's got to give 'em two days' notice. 1151 00:59:55,717 --> 00:59:57,637 Time to work up one of them little graphs. 1152 01:00:00,514 --> 01:00:03,064 I've been thinking about God lately, too. 1153 01:00:03,433 --> 01:00:04,433 Wondering. 1154 01:00:06,395 --> 01:00:07,395 About God? 1155 01:00:08,105 --> 01:00:09,105 Yeah. 1156 01:00:12,276 --> 01:00:13,276 What about him? 1157 01:00:17,281 --> 01:00:18,411 I don't know. 1158 01:00:19,825 --> 01:00:22,865 Haven't you just wondered about God, ever? 1159 01:00:25,414 --> 01:00:28,374 Well, yeah. Everybody wonders about God every now and then. 1160 01:00:28,458 --> 01:00:30,918 It's just some of us don't dwell on it, you know? 1161 01:00:32,296 --> 01:00:35,796 I give it a place. I believe what I believe. 1162 01:00:37,259 --> 01:00:39,299 - Which is what? - How the hell should I know? 1163 01:00:44,474 --> 01:00:46,984 When I was a kid, I had a dream about God. 1164 01:00:49,688 --> 01:00:50,688 I dreamt... 1165 01:00:51,690 --> 01:00:53,980 I found him hiding in a closet 1166 01:00:54,067 --> 01:00:56,437 in the middle of a burnt-out city. 1167 01:00:58,739 --> 01:01:01,199 This city was destroyed by fire... 1168 01:01:03,452 --> 01:01:05,202 or some kind of explosion. 1169 01:01:07,706 --> 01:01:08,706 And... 1170 01:01:09,833 --> 01:01:11,833 there in the middle of it... 1171 01:01:13,003 --> 01:01:14,713 was a coat closet... 1172 01:01:16,423 --> 01:01:18,053 standing there all by itself. 1173 01:01:20,594 --> 01:01:23,354 And I walked up to the closet and opened the door... 1174 01:01:25,807 --> 01:01:27,977 and inside was God, 1175 01:01:29,144 --> 01:01:30,144 hiding. 1176 01:01:32,189 --> 01:01:35,819 I remember he had a-a big lion head. 1177 01:01:37,944 --> 01:01:39,454 But I knew it wasn't a lion. 1178 01:01:41,156 --> 01:01:42,196 It was God. 1179 01:01:43,450 --> 01:01:44,450 And he was afraid. 1180 01:01:47,996 --> 01:01:51,746 And... I reached out my hand... 1181 01:01:53,251 --> 01:01:54,791 to lead him out of the closet, 1182 01:01:57,798 --> 01:01:58,798 and I said, 1183 01:02:00,967 --> 01:02:02,467 "Don't be afraid, God." 1184 01:02:04,179 --> 01:02:05,349 "I'm on your side." 1185 01:02:09,476 --> 01:02:10,516 And we stood there, 1186 01:02:12,771 --> 01:02:13,771 the two of us, 1187 01:02:14,731 --> 01:02:15,981 holding hands, 1188 01:02:18,360 --> 01:02:20,280 looking out over the destruction. 1189 01:02:24,574 --> 01:02:26,494 It was just after sunset. 1190 01:02:33,667 --> 01:02:37,087 I don't know why, but I've always had this... 1191 01:02:37,921 --> 01:02:39,381 haunting feeling... 1192 01:02:42,342 --> 01:02:45,392 that I had some kind of mission here on earth. 1193 01:02:51,476 --> 01:02:52,476 A mission? 1194 01:02:53,520 --> 01:02:54,600 Yeah. 1195 01:02:56,148 --> 01:02:57,268 What kind of mission? 1196 01:03:00,986 --> 01:03:02,486 I have no idea. 1197 01:03:06,158 --> 01:03:07,988 Well, I'll tell you what your mission is. 1198 01:03:08,076 --> 01:03:09,616 Your mission is the same as mine... 1199 01:03:10,787 --> 01:03:14,417 To be a... liaison between parties. 1200 01:03:17,544 --> 01:03:19,254 Things like that don't bother you, huh? 1201 01:03:22,007 --> 01:03:23,127 What do you mean? Dreams? 1202 01:03:23,675 --> 01:03:25,175 Questions about God. 1203 01:03:29,347 --> 01:03:30,677 Well, I figure, you know... 1204 01:03:33,018 --> 01:03:34,978 I'm gonna find out sooner or later. 1205 01:03:35,061 --> 01:03:38,271 My wondering about it isn't gonna change anything. 1206 01:03:38,815 --> 01:03:42,485 You know, in the meantime, why lose sleep? I get precious little as it is. 1207 01:03:46,198 --> 01:03:47,738 But you still wonder, don't you? 1208 01:03:52,996 --> 01:03:54,326 I'm human, Phil. 1209 01:03:56,041 --> 01:03:57,041 I know. 1210 01:03:59,377 --> 01:04:02,587 We're all very tired, Phil. You know, it's the nature of the business. 1211 01:04:02,672 --> 01:04:05,132 You've been under a lot of stress lately, too. 1212 01:04:07,511 --> 01:04:08,681 Is that what it is? 1213 01:04:09,763 --> 01:04:11,853 Yeah. You're damn right that's what it is. 1214 01:04:12,516 --> 01:04:13,596 You need a vacation. 1215 01:04:16,186 --> 01:04:17,386 I just had a vacation. 1216 01:04:17,479 --> 01:04:19,809 Well, it didn't do any good, so you need another one. 1217 01:04:19,898 --> 01:04:21,648 You know, maybe just a good, hot date. 1218 01:04:22,192 --> 01:04:24,282 - [chuckling] Yeah? - Yeah. 1219 01:04:24,361 --> 01:04:26,861 You need, uh, what's-her-name, the blonde. 1220 01:04:29,533 --> 01:04:32,743 - Susan. - [chuckles] Yeah. Susan. 1221 01:04:32,827 --> 01:04:35,037 That's what you do. That's exactly what you do. 1222 01:04:35,121 --> 01:04:36,121 You call her up, 1223 01:04:36,957 --> 01:04:39,077 you tell her you made reservations in the dells, 1224 01:04:40,043 --> 01:04:42,173 you buy yourself a gross or two of condoms, 1225 01:04:42,254 --> 01:04:45,384 and then the two of you go at it like hamsters in heat. 1226 01:04:45,465 --> 01:04:47,465 You forget about work. You forget about everything. 1227 01:04:47,926 --> 01:04:50,676 You know, you just go on up there and get your ashes hauled. 1228 01:05:11,992 --> 01:05:14,292 [no audible dialogue] 1229 01:05:51,031 --> 01:05:52,201 Do you love me, Larry? 1230 01:05:58,496 --> 01:06:00,036 D-Do I love you? 1231 01:06:01,625 --> 01:06:02,625 Yeah. 1232 01:06:03,918 --> 01:06:06,208 Well, it depends on what you mean, Phil. I mean... 1233 01:06:07,547 --> 01:06:10,297 If you're asking, am I willing to have your children, well, then, no, 1234 01:06:10,383 --> 01:06:11,633 I probably don't love you. 1235 01:06:13,928 --> 01:06:14,928 Why do you ask? 1236 01:06:16,014 --> 01:06:17,144 It's just a question. 1237 01:06:18,683 --> 01:06:20,183 How could I not love you? 1238 01:06:21,811 --> 01:06:24,441 You have good hygiene. You're a snappy dresser. 1239 01:06:25,398 --> 01:06:28,038 You don't talk with your mouth full. What's not to love about that? 1240 01:06:30,820 --> 01:06:31,820 Forget it. 1241 01:06:35,492 --> 01:06:36,492 What brought that on? 1242 01:06:39,037 --> 01:06:40,747 Well, when I was a kid, 1243 01:06:42,123 --> 01:06:44,083 there was a Bible verse that I learned. 1244 01:06:46,586 --> 01:06:47,706 And Jesus said, 1245 01:06:51,216 --> 01:06:53,336 "Greater love has no man than this:" 1246 01:06:54,928 --> 01:06:57,218 "That he lays down his life for his friend." 1247 01:06:59,224 --> 01:07:02,234 Are you asking, would I be willing to die for you? 1248 01:07:03,520 --> 01:07:04,520 I guess so. 1249 01:07:07,691 --> 01:07:09,691 Well, that's pushing things kind of far, Phil. 1250 01:07:10,318 --> 01:07:13,398 I mean, what situation could possibly come up 1251 01:07:13,488 --> 01:07:15,608 that I would be called upon to die for you? 1252 01:07:20,245 --> 01:07:22,365 - Beats me. - [chuckles] 1253 01:07:22,455 --> 01:07:24,615 I mean, what? You're saying, "Hey, hey." 1254 01:07:24,708 --> 01:07:27,378 "Larry, take a flying leap off the balcony"? No, I wouldn't. 1255 01:07:30,547 --> 01:07:31,627 I wouldn't ask you. 1256 01:07:34,092 --> 01:07:36,512 Well, even if you did, I'd say, "Phil, my friend", 1257 01:07:36,594 --> 01:07:38,934 "we've enjoyed a long and happy relationship" 1258 01:07:39,013 --> 01:07:40,723 "these last I-don't-know-how-many years," 1259 01:07:40,807 --> 01:07:43,017 "but in answer to your request, no, fuck you," 1260 01:07:43,101 --> 01:07:45,391 and then I would dismiss myself, no hard feelings. 1261 01:07:49,315 --> 01:07:50,315 Right. You should. 1262 01:07:59,951 --> 01:08:01,291 I don't know who I love. 1263 01:08:06,249 --> 01:08:07,749 There's a lot of people I like. 1264 01:08:15,341 --> 01:08:16,341 But love? 1265 01:08:21,264 --> 01:08:22,724 That's a whole different story. 1266 01:08:28,188 --> 01:08:29,348 Don't worry about it. 1267 01:08:31,900 --> 01:08:32,980 Yeah. 1268 01:08:45,121 --> 01:08:46,121 Oh! 1269 01:08:47,040 --> 01:08:48,040 He's here! 1270 01:08:49,042 --> 01:08:50,042 I told you. 1271 01:08:52,962 --> 01:08:53,962 So. 1272 01:08:54,839 --> 01:08:55,839 What? 1273 01:08:56,299 --> 01:08:57,299 How'd it go? 1274 01:08:58,051 --> 01:08:59,051 Okay. 1275 01:09:00,053 --> 01:09:01,053 Did you find him? 1276 01:09:04,307 --> 01:09:05,677 Yes, I-I found him. 1277 01:09:07,060 --> 01:09:08,060 [Phil] And? 1278 01:09:08,520 --> 01:09:09,520 And we talked. 1279 01:09:12,315 --> 01:09:13,315 And? 1280 01:09:13,358 --> 01:09:15,608 And nothing. We just talked. 1281 01:09:17,695 --> 01:09:19,565 Well, what'd you talk about, Bob? 1282 01:09:22,659 --> 01:09:25,079 Bob, what did you talk about? 1283 01:09:25,995 --> 01:09:27,445 We talked about Christ. 1284 01:09:36,089 --> 01:09:37,089 You talked about... 1285 01:09:38,466 --> 01:09:39,466 Jesus. 1286 01:09:40,301 --> 01:09:42,551 Did you mention, perhaps, What line of lubricants 1287 01:09:42,637 --> 01:09:44,007 Jesus would have endorsed? 1288 01:09:44,097 --> 01:09:46,267 - Larry... - What did you say to him, Bob? 1289 01:09:49,602 --> 01:09:51,902 We just... discussed things. 1290 01:09:52,897 --> 01:09:54,017 Concerning Jesus? 1291 01:09:55,275 --> 01:09:57,985 - Concerning a lot of things. - In relation to... 1292 01:09:58,319 --> 01:09:59,609 - Jesus. - Jesus. 1293 01:10:01,114 --> 01:10:02,284 Yes, I see. 1294 01:10:05,535 --> 01:10:09,285 [claps hands] So the subject of lubricants didn't come up, I take it. 1295 01:10:09,789 --> 01:10:12,999 Well, the nature of the conversation steered itself away from that. 1296 01:10:13,084 --> 01:10:14,084 The nature did? 1297 01:10:15,461 --> 01:10:16,461 All by itself? 1298 01:10:17,714 --> 01:10:18,714 Yes. 1299 01:10:19,549 --> 01:10:22,589 So, conversation was just kind of going along, 1300 01:10:22,677 --> 01:10:24,177 and then, you know, on its own, 1301 01:10:24,262 --> 01:10:26,262 and then suddenly, sort of out of the blue, 1302 01:10:26,347 --> 01:10:29,347 and before you knew it, you were just there talking about God 1303 01:10:29,434 --> 01:10:31,064 or Jesus... Excuse me. 1304 01:10:31,352 --> 01:10:33,852 It was just two people talking. 1305 01:10:35,189 --> 01:10:37,019 I'm about to say something to you, Bob. 1306 01:10:38,568 --> 01:10:40,688 It's not something I say to a lot of people, 1307 01:10:40,778 --> 01:10:43,818 because I have to truly mean it and believe it. 1308 01:10:44,240 --> 01:10:46,950 Because to me, it's like telling somebody to go to hell. 1309 01:10:47,660 --> 01:10:49,040 That's what it means to me. 1310 01:10:50,079 --> 01:10:53,869 - What is it? - It's that I don't believe you, Bob. 1311 01:10:54,417 --> 01:10:55,877 - You don't... - Believe you. 1312 01:10:56,628 --> 01:11:00,838 Yes, I'm having a hard time convincing myself 1313 01:11:00,924 --> 01:11:02,934 that what you just said is true. 1314 01:11:03,343 --> 01:11:05,433 - It is true. - Perhaps. 1315 01:11:06,304 --> 01:11:09,354 But I'm having a hard time. Do you understand? 1316 01:11:09,432 --> 01:11:10,642 Larry. Come on. 1317 01:11:10,934 --> 01:11:11,934 Leave me alone! 1318 01:11:13,853 --> 01:11:15,313 [Larry] will you please... 1319 01:11:17,607 --> 01:11:22,027 I'm trying to deal with things here, okay, so just don't interrupt me again. 1320 01:11:22,445 --> 01:11:23,775 It's all right, Phil. 1321 01:11:23,863 --> 01:11:25,243 See? It's all right. 1322 01:11:30,495 --> 01:11:32,575 Now, Bob, I'd like to ask you a question, 1323 01:11:33,164 --> 01:11:34,674 and I'd like a straight answer. 1324 01:11:34,749 --> 01:11:36,499 - Can you give that to me? - Yes. 1325 01:11:37,085 --> 01:11:39,285 Who... raised... 1326 01:11:39,837 --> 01:11:43,087 the subject of Jesus, honestly? 1327 01:11:57,063 --> 01:11:58,063 I did. 1328 01:11:58,690 --> 01:11:59,690 You... 1329 01:12:00,441 --> 01:12:01,441 Yes. 1330 01:12:01,943 --> 01:12:04,573 Mentioned Jesus first. 1331 01:12:05,655 --> 01:12:06,655 Yes. 1332 01:12:11,327 --> 01:12:12,327 Why? 1333 01:12:13,788 --> 01:12:15,788 Because it's very important to me... 1334 01:12:17,625 --> 01:12:20,665 that people hear about Jesus. 1335 01:12:24,716 --> 01:12:25,716 You mean, that... 1336 01:12:27,468 --> 01:12:29,298 That he died for their sins? 1337 01:12:30,138 --> 01:12:31,138 Yes. 1338 01:12:37,145 --> 01:12:39,265 Okay, Bob. Let me restate the question. 1339 01:12:40,815 --> 01:12:42,565 Understanding that it was... 1340 01:12:43,067 --> 01:12:45,187 very important to our being here 1341 01:12:45,278 --> 01:12:48,068 that we meet with and speak to Mr. Fuller 1342 01:12:48,156 --> 01:12:51,776 concerning... the lubricant situation, 1343 01:12:54,370 --> 01:12:56,080 why did you instead... 1344 01:12:57,540 --> 01:12:59,790 choose to talk to him about Jesus? 1345 01:13:00,543 --> 01:13:02,293 [exhales] 1346 01:13:03,421 --> 01:13:05,211 Because I think it's more important. 1347 01:13:07,175 --> 01:13:10,425 Even though we're at a convention where it's more customary to... 1348 01:13:11,137 --> 01:13:12,177 talk business. 1349 01:13:12,680 --> 01:13:15,640 Yes! I understand, Larry. 1350 01:13:16,642 --> 01:13:19,062 I just don't see the crime in speaking 1351 01:13:19,145 --> 01:13:23,315 to, uh, another human being as another human being. 1352 01:13:23,983 --> 01:13:26,783 I didn't mention work or lubricants or anything like that 1353 01:13:26,861 --> 01:13:29,111 because I didn't want him to think I was using... 1354 01:13:29,197 --> 01:13:32,317 the subject of religion to cozy up to him, 1355 01:13:32,408 --> 01:13:34,618 to get him to sign some contract. 1356 01:13:36,079 --> 01:13:38,579 I didn't want him to think I was insincere. 1357 01:13:42,085 --> 01:13:45,955 But you were insincere, Bob, in a much greater sense. 1358 01:13:46,255 --> 01:13:50,295 If we're nothing but functions here, then why don't they just send robots? 1359 01:13:50,718 --> 01:13:53,008 They don't send robots, Bob, for the simple reason, 1360 01:13:53,096 --> 01:13:54,506 they haven't invented one yet. 1361 01:13:55,389 --> 01:13:57,719 The day comes when they can build a robot 1362 01:13:57,809 --> 01:14:00,189 to do what we do and make it work, 1363 01:14:00,269 --> 01:14:02,349 then that's exactly what they'll do, 1364 01:14:02,438 --> 01:14:03,558 precisely. 1365 01:14:04,315 --> 01:14:06,975 But until that day, they send us. 1366 01:14:07,068 --> 01:14:09,568 They say, "Hey, Bob, Larry, Phil", 1367 01:14:09,654 --> 01:14:12,114 "why don't you go on down to Wichita for a couple of days?" 1368 01:14:12,198 --> 01:14:14,758 "Don't worry about your room and board. We'll take care of that." 1369 01:14:15,159 --> 01:14:16,869 And for a couple of days, Bob, 1370 01:14:18,371 --> 01:14:20,371 we lose our identities 1371 01:14:20,706 --> 01:14:22,166 here in Wichita, 1372 01:14:22,792 --> 01:14:27,052 and we become... the hands of the company, 1373 01:14:27,130 --> 01:14:29,800 shaking all the other hands before us. 1374 01:14:29,882 --> 01:14:32,302 What you did... The reason you were insincere, 1375 01:14:32,385 --> 01:14:34,715 is that you cut off that bond. 1376 01:14:34,804 --> 01:14:38,774 It would be like the hand just sort of breaking away from the arm and saying, 1377 01:14:38,850 --> 01:14:41,430 "Oh, you know what? I have this thing out here to do" 1378 01:14:41,519 --> 01:14:43,019 "that has nothing to do with you." 1379 01:14:43,104 --> 01:14:44,998 - The Apostle Paul said... - Please don't do that. 1380 01:14:45,022 --> 01:14:47,835 I'm trying to have conversation with you. Don't bring the Apostle Paul in. 1381 01:14:47,859 --> 01:14:49,149 I'm trying to do something else. 1382 01:14:49,235 --> 01:14:51,605 I don't see how we can have a conversation like this 1383 01:14:51,696 --> 01:14:54,106 if I'm not allowed to bring up the subject of God. 1384 01:14:54,198 --> 01:14:55,318 We're not talking about God. 1385 01:14:55,366 --> 01:14:57,010 I'm talking about something bigger than God. 1386 01:14:57,034 --> 01:15:00,084 - Bigger than God?! - At issue, Bob, is not your belief in God 1387 01:15:00,163 --> 01:15:02,083 or your desire to spread that belief. 1388 01:15:02,165 --> 01:15:04,245 At issue is what we're here to do. 1389 01:15:04,333 --> 01:15:06,133 Which is what, Larry? Which is what?! 1390 01:15:06,711 --> 01:15:08,841 We're here to sell lubricants, Bob! 1391 01:15:08,921 --> 01:15:12,551 Industrial lubricants! We're not here to save souls. 1392 01:15:12,633 --> 01:15:16,053 We're not here to go chasing women either, but that doesn't seem to stop you. 1393 01:15:17,096 --> 01:15:20,056 How dare you throw that back in my face? 1394 01:15:20,141 --> 01:15:21,851 How dare you, you little pipsqueak? 1395 01:15:24,353 --> 01:15:27,023 There is nothing wrong with admiring the scenery 1396 01:15:27,440 --> 01:15:29,070 while you're doing business, 1397 01:15:29,150 --> 01:15:32,190 as long as you're doing business! 1398 01:15:32,862 --> 01:15:35,162 And for your information, son, 1399 01:15:35,907 --> 01:15:37,777 fifteen years, 1400 01:15:38,534 --> 01:15:41,624 not once have I cheated on my wife. 1401 01:15:42,205 --> 01:15:44,825 If you look at a woman with lust, it's the same as... 1402 01:15:44,916 --> 01:15:46,826 No, it's not! There's a hell of a difference... 1403 01:15:46,918 --> 01:15:48,078 That's not what Jesus said... 1404 01:15:48,169 --> 01:15:50,689 How do you know what Jesus said, for Christ's sake? Were you there? 1405 01:15:50,713 --> 01:15:52,883 - No, somebody wrote it down in a book. - Larry. 1406 01:15:52,965 --> 01:15:54,860 If somebody handed it down, you believe it, yeah, sure. 1407 01:15:54,884 --> 01:15:56,384 Transcriptions are true! 1408 01:15:56,469 --> 01:15:58,405 It doesn't mean I'm right or you're right. We weren't there! 1409 01:15:58,429 --> 01:15:59,259 Larry. 1410 01:15:59,347 --> 01:16:02,075 - The Bible specifically says... - Don't you quote scripture to me, Bob! 1411 01:16:02,099 --> 01:16:02,929 Do not do it! 1412 01:16:03,017 --> 01:16:04,727 I go back to what the Apostle Paul... 1413 01:16:04,810 --> 01:16:08,190 The Apostle Paul was not sent to Wichita to hawk... 1414 01:16:08,272 --> 01:16:09,982 [shouting over each other] 1415 01:16:10,066 --> 01:16:11,936 Larry! Larry! 1416 01:16:12,026 --> 01:16:13,106 Larry! 1417 01:16:13,903 --> 01:16:14,903 Larry! 1418 01:16:14,987 --> 01:16:16,397 [grunting] 1419 01:16:17,698 --> 01:16:19,568 Larry. Larry! 1420 01:16:26,958 --> 01:16:28,418 With or without the account, 1421 01:16:29,877 --> 01:16:30,877 we'll live. 1422 01:16:33,881 --> 01:16:34,881 Come on. 1423 01:16:39,428 --> 01:16:40,428 I'm sorry. 1424 01:16:47,311 --> 01:16:48,311 [Larry] Yes. 1425 01:16:50,022 --> 01:16:51,062 We'll live. 1426 01:16:52,441 --> 01:16:53,441 [Phil] we'll live. 1427 01:16:54,860 --> 01:16:56,150 I believe I just said that. 1428 01:17:19,885 --> 01:17:22,635 I'm suddenly very conscious of the lateness of things. 1429 01:17:31,689 --> 01:17:34,019 What time do you want to get together in the morning? 1430 01:17:36,110 --> 01:17:37,820 [sighs] 1431 01:17:39,280 --> 01:17:41,200 It does... Doesn't matter. 1432 01:17:41,949 --> 01:17:43,159 What time? 1433 01:17:45,786 --> 01:17:46,786 7:30. 1434 01:17:46,871 --> 01:17:48,251 Make it 8:00. 1435 01:17:51,167 --> 01:17:52,167 Fine, 8:00. 1436 01:17:56,630 --> 01:17:58,090 Forgive me, Bob, for... 1437 01:17:59,342 --> 01:18:01,052 behaving as though I were your father, 1438 01:18:02,762 --> 01:18:04,932 of trying to give you a little something of... 1439 01:18:08,309 --> 01:18:09,309 what I am. 1440 01:18:14,815 --> 01:18:15,815 It's all right. 1441 01:18:23,824 --> 01:18:24,824 [Phil] Larry. 1442 01:18:28,621 --> 01:18:29,621 Good night. 1443 01:18:33,209 --> 01:18:34,209 [door closes] 1444 01:19:13,582 --> 01:19:15,212 There's somethin' I wanna say to you. 1445 01:19:20,714 --> 01:19:22,844 And I want you to listen very closely, 1446 01:19:25,636 --> 01:19:27,466 because it's very important. 1447 01:19:31,809 --> 01:19:34,059 The man we just chased from here... 1448 01:19:34,520 --> 01:19:36,480 We didn't chase anybody. 1449 01:19:36,564 --> 01:19:39,614 The man who just left the room 1450 01:19:40,609 --> 01:19:42,239 a moment ago 1451 01:19:43,904 --> 01:19:45,414 is a very good friend of mine. 1452 01:19:46,740 --> 01:19:49,410 Is it because I've known him for a long time? 1453 01:19:50,411 --> 01:19:52,371 Well, there are a lot of people 1454 01:19:53,038 --> 01:19:55,168 who I've known for quite a while. 1455 01:19:55,916 --> 01:19:58,746 And some of them I wouldn't let wipe my dog's ass. 1456 01:19:59,670 --> 01:20:03,170 Others, I can take or leave. They don't matter to me. 1457 01:20:04,675 --> 01:20:06,965 But Larry matters very much, 1458 01:20:08,095 --> 01:20:09,175 the reason being 1459 01:20:10,389 --> 01:20:11,559 I can trust him. 1460 01:20:12,475 --> 01:20:13,975 I know I can trust him. 1461 01:20:16,020 --> 01:20:17,020 He's honest. 1462 01:20:17,938 --> 01:20:19,268 Is he honest 1463 01:20:20,065 --> 01:20:21,315 or is he just blunt? 1464 01:20:23,486 --> 01:20:26,236 He's honest, Bob. 1465 01:20:27,531 --> 01:20:29,121 He's blunt as well. 1466 01:20:29,200 --> 01:20:31,490 That sometimes is part of being honest, 1467 01:20:33,204 --> 01:20:37,794 Because there are a lot of people who are blunt, but not honest. 1468 01:20:37,875 --> 01:20:39,495 Larry is not one of those. 1469 01:20:40,836 --> 01:20:42,456 Larry is an honest man. 1470 01:20:48,052 --> 01:20:50,802 You, too, are an honest man, Bob. 1471 01:20:50,888 --> 01:20:52,058 I believe that... 1472 01:20:52,139 --> 01:20:55,139 That somewhere down deep inside of you 1473 01:20:55,226 --> 01:20:57,886 is something that strives to be honest. 1474 01:20:58,646 --> 01:21:01,396 The question that you have to ask yourself 1475 01:21:02,650 --> 01:21:06,070 is, "Has it touched the whole of my life?" 1476 01:21:07,363 --> 01:21:08,743 What does that mean? 1477 01:21:09,532 --> 01:21:11,742 That means that you preaching Jesus 1478 01:21:11,825 --> 01:21:16,325 is no different than Larry or anybody else preaching lubricants. 1479 01:21:16,413 --> 01:21:21,633 It doesn't matter whether you're selling Jesus or Buddha or civil rights 1480 01:21:21,710 --> 01:21:24,800 or how to make money in real estate with no money down. 1481 01:21:26,715 --> 01:21:28,415 That doesn't make you a human being. 1482 01:21:29,385 --> 01:21:31,005 It makes you a marketing rep. 1483 01:21:31,679 --> 01:21:34,099 If you wanna talk to somebody honestly, 1484 01:21:35,015 --> 01:21:36,215 as a human being, 1485 01:21:38,269 --> 01:21:39,599 ask him about his kids. 1486 01:21:41,230 --> 01:21:44,360 Find out what his dreams are, just to find out. 1487 01:21:45,067 --> 01:21:46,107 For no other reason. 1488 01:21:46,193 --> 01:21:49,153 Because as soon as you lay your hands on a conversation, 1489 01:21:50,155 --> 01:21:51,155 to steer it, 1490 01:21:52,449 --> 01:21:54,029 it's not a conversation anymore. 1491 01:21:54,577 --> 01:21:57,037 It's a pitch, and you're not a human being. 1492 01:21:57,830 --> 01:21:59,210 You're a marketing rep. 1493 01:22:01,875 --> 01:22:04,125 [sniffles] Forgive me if I respectfully disagree. 1494 01:22:05,379 --> 01:22:08,879 We were talking before about... character. 1495 01:22:08,966 --> 01:22:11,546 You were asking me about character. 1496 01:22:12,136 --> 01:22:14,346 And we were speaking of faces. 1497 01:22:14,430 --> 01:22:16,680 But the question is much deeper than that. 1498 01:22:18,851 --> 01:22:19,851 The question is, 1499 01:22:20,936 --> 01:22:23,396 "Do you have any character at all?" 1500 01:22:24,565 --> 01:22:28,275 And if you want my honest opinion, Bob, you do not, 1501 01:22:29,111 --> 01:22:30,611 for the simple reason 1502 01:22:32,698 --> 01:22:34,698 that you don't regret anything yet. 1503 01:22:35,909 --> 01:22:37,949 You're saying I won't have any character 1504 01:22:39,788 --> 01:22:41,458 unless I do something I regret? 1505 01:22:42,583 --> 01:22:43,583 No, Bob. 1506 01:22:45,127 --> 01:22:47,797 I'm saying you've already done plenty of things to regret. 1507 01:22:49,590 --> 01:22:51,090 You just don't know what they are. 1508 01:22:54,637 --> 01:22:55,927 It's when you discover them, 1509 01:22:58,724 --> 01:23:01,234 when you see the folly in something you've done 1510 01:23:02,478 --> 01:23:03,688 and you wish... 1511 01:23:04,355 --> 01:23:05,855 that you had it to do over, 1512 01:23:07,650 --> 01:23:08,900 but you know you can't, 1513 01:23:10,653 --> 01:23:11,693 'cause it's too late. 1514 01:23:16,700 --> 01:23:19,290 So you pick that thing up and you carry it with you 1515 01:23:20,496 --> 01:23:22,866 to remind you that life goes on. 1516 01:23:23,499 --> 01:23:25,289 The world will spin without you. 1517 01:23:27,294 --> 01:23:28,804 You really don't matter in the end. 1518 01:23:32,132 --> 01:23:34,302 Then you will attain character. 1519 01:23:36,095 --> 01:23:38,675 Because... honesty 1520 01:23:40,224 --> 01:23:42,104 will reach out from inside 1521 01:23:45,729 --> 01:23:48,189 and tattoo itself all across your face. 1522 01:23:50,984 --> 01:23:52,074 Until that day, 1523 01:23:54,738 --> 01:23:55,738 however, 1524 01:24:00,035 --> 01:24:02,785 you cannot expect to go beyond a certain point. 1525 01:24:09,211 --> 01:24:11,381 [sighs] May I go now? 1526 01:24:13,257 --> 01:24:14,257 Go ahead. 1527 01:24:17,553 --> 01:24:18,553 Thank you. 1528 01:24:24,935 --> 01:24:28,055 [sighs] Hmm. Hmm. 1529 01:24:50,753 --> 01:24:51,753 Good night. 1530 01:25:06,477 --> 01:25:08,767 [phone rings] 1531 01:25:11,607 --> 01:25:13,607 [ringing continues] 1532 01:25:18,906 --> 01:25:19,906 Hello? 1533 01:25:23,619 --> 01:25:25,409 No, you just missed him. 1534 01:25:29,625 --> 01:25:30,625 What's that? 1535 01:25:37,299 --> 01:25:38,299 I love you too. 1536 01:25:43,347 --> 01:25:44,347 Yeah. 1537 01:25:56,068 --> 01:25:59,068 [Baz Lumberman recites over music] Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. 1538 01:25:59,154 --> 01:26:00,404 Oh, never mind. 1539 01:26:00,489 --> 01:26:04,659 You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. 1540 01:26:05,244 --> 01:26:09,504 But trust me, in 20 years you'll look back at photos of yourself 1541 01:26:09,581 --> 01:26:12,331 and recall in a way you can't grasp now. 1542 01:26:12,417 --> 01:26:14,787 How much possibility lay before you 1543 01:26:14,878 --> 01:26:16,958 and how fabulous you really looked. 1544 01:26:17,297 --> 01:26:20,587 You are not as fat as you imagine. 1545 01:26:23,428 --> 01:26:25,138 Don't worry about the future, 1546 01:26:25,222 --> 01:26:27,852 or worry, but know that worrying 1547 01:26:27,933 --> 01:26:31,023 is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation 1548 01:26:31,103 --> 01:26:32,563 by chewing bubble gum. 1549 01:26:33,564 --> 01:26:35,064 The real troubles in your life 1550 01:26:35,148 --> 01:26:38,438 are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, 1551 01:26:38,527 --> 01:26:43,157 The kind that blindsides you at 4:00 P.M. on some idle Tuesday. 1552 01:26:43,574 --> 01:26:47,124 Do one thing every day that scares you. 1553 01:26:47,786 --> 01:26:48,786 Sing. 1554 01:26:48,871 --> 01:26:51,541 Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. 1555 01:26:51,623 --> 01:26:54,833 Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours. 1556 01:26:55,836 --> 01:26:56,836 Floss. 1557 01:26:57,212 --> 01:26:59,262 Don't waste your time on jealousy. 1558 01:26:59,631 --> 01:27:00,841 Sometimes you're ahead, 1559 01:27:01,508 --> 01:27:02,968 sometimes you're behind. 1560 01:27:03,969 --> 01:27:06,179 The race is long, and in the end, 1561 01:27:06,263 --> 01:27:07,853 it's only with yourself. 1562 01:27:10,267 --> 01:27:11,977 Remember compliments you receive. 1563 01:27:12,686 --> 01:27:14,266 Forget the insults. 1564 01:27:14,980 --> 01:27:17,940 If you succeed in doing this, tell me how. 1565 01:27:18,275 --> 01:27:19,685 Keep your old love letters. 1566 01:27:20,193 --> 01:27:21,943 Throw away your old bank statements. 1567 01:27:24,823 --> 01:27:25,823 Stretch. 1568 01:27:26,158 --> 01:27:29,368 Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. 1569 01:27:29,453 --> 01:27:32,623 The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 1570 01:27:32,706 --> 01:27:34,616 what they wanted to do with their lives. 1571 01:27:34,708 --> 01:27:37,788 Some of the most interesting 40-year-old I know still don't. 1572 01:27:39,254 --> 01:27:40,594 Get plenty of calcium. 1573 01:27:41,715 --> 01:27:45,335 Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone. 1574 01:27:46,428 --> 01:27:48,548 Maybe you'll marry. Maybe you won't. 1575 01:27:49,097 --> 01:27:51,267 Maybe you'll have children. Maybe you won't. 1576 01:27:51,725 --> 01:27:53,265 Maybe you'll divorce at 40. 1577 01:27:53,685 --> 01:27:57,515 Maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. 1578 01:27:57,814 --> 01:28:01,114 Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much 1579 01:28:01,193 --> 01:28:02,823 or berate yourself either. 1580 01:28:02,903 --> 01:28:05,363 Your choices are half chance. 1581 01:28:05,447 --> 01:28:07,367 So are everybody else's. 1582 01:28:08,367 --> 01:28:11,907 Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. 1583 01:28:11,995 --> 01:28:14,825 Don't be afraid of it or what other people think of it. 1584 01:28:14,915 --> 01:28:17,495 It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own. 1585 01:28:17,918 --> 01:28:18,918 Dance, 1586 01:28:19,419 --> 01:28:22,419 even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room. 1587 01:28:22,506 --> 01:28:25,086 Read the directions even if you don't follow them. 1588 01:28:25,175 --> 01:28:27,585 Do not read beauty magazines. 1589 01:28:27,678 --> 01:28:29,888 They will only make you feel ugly. 1590 01:28:36,937 --> 01:28:38,647 Get to know your parents. 1591 01:28:39,481 --> 01:28:41,481 You never know when they'll be gone for good. 1592 01:28:42,109 --> 01:28:43,359 Be nice to your siblings. 1593 01:28:44,111 --> 01:28:46,951 They're your best link to your past and the people most likely 1594 01:28:47,030 --> 01:28:48,780 to stick with you in the future. 1595 01:28:52,619 --> 01:28:54,949 Understand that friends come and go, 1596 01:28:55,288 --> 01:28:57,668 but with the precious few you should hold on. 1597 01:28:58,250 --> 01:29:01,790 Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, 1598 01:29:02,170 --> 01:29:03,500 for as the older you get, 1599 01:29:04,256 --> 01:29:07,376 the more you need the people you knew when you were young. 1600 01:29:09,678 --> 01:29:13,428 Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. 1601 01:29:14,182 --> 01:29:15,812 Live in Northern California once, 1602 01:29:15,892 --> 01:29:18,772 but leave before it makes you soft. 1603 01:29:19,187 --> 01:29:20,187 Travel. 1604 01:29:21,481 --> 01:29:23,481 Don't mess too much with your hair 1605 01:29:23,567 --> 01:29:26,607 or by the time you're 40, it will look 85. 1606 01:29:28,363 --> 01:29:30,783 Be careful whose advice you buy, 1607 01:29:31,158 --> 01:29:33,738 but be patient with those who supply it. 1608 01:29:34,327 --> 01:29:37,077 Advice is a form of nostalgia. 1609 01:29:37,539 --> 01:29:41,419 Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, 1610 01:29:41,501 --> 01:29:44,501 wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts. 1611 01:29:45,005 --> 01:29:47,625 And recycling it for more than it's worth. 1612 01:29:49,259 --> 01:29:51,799 But trust me on the sunscreen. 1613 01:29:51,887 --> 01:29:55,257 [vinyl skipping] 1614 01:29:57,851 --> 01:30:00,901 [rock song starts playing]